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bubblePear5387
334 M Embraced 3
PathStep 28 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2020 Member sinceSeptember 23, 2020
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Early trauma
Trauma Support / by bubblePear5387
Last post
 October 3rd, 2020
...See more I feel as if my whole life has been nothing but trauma. I was anxious at an early age. After my dad died, I was 3, my mom lost custody of me to my dad's mother. I spent weekends wondering why she wouldn't want to be with me on her weekend. I cried myself to sleep many Friday nights because she didn't pick me up. I had an uncle who thought it would as ok to touch me while I was sleeping, which caused me to wonder did it even happen after I tried to tell my Granny about it. My teenage years suffered because of that abuse, when I turned to an older man for attention and counsel. Closer to the point, in 1998 I had a daughter who brought my mom and me back together and we mended the relationship. Last year, she died after a very long battle with cancer. That was in May. In August, I had a car wreck that should have killed me. Although not an official diagnosis yet, I feel like I'm having some PTSD symptoms. I don't know why, but I am so scared of that diagnosis. I'd like to know how others have lived with and learned to cope with PTSD.
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It's just Me...
Anxiety Support / by bubblePear5387
Last post
 September 25th, 2020
...See more I have always had anxiety. Even as a kid. Short version: I lost my dad when I was 3, went through an ugly custody battle with my grandma and mom, abused as a teenager, drugs as a young adult, then mental abuse in a relationship. Oh, then lost my mom last year (after finally mending the relationship) and finally a car wreck that should have killed me in August of last year. I have been in a few therapy sessions in my life. After my wreck, my world just came crashing down on me. About 2 years ago, I was actually diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder. The wreck made those worse, with a new diagnosis, PTSD. Yes it was really that bad! I broke: my femur into pieces, (a rod and seven screws in my leg), 10 ribs, sternum, and 2 vertebrae in my back. I am still in pain for alot of days. I need friends who understand what I'm going through. That will listen and not be judgmental. Right now it's 1:30 in the morning, which is a really hard time for me. The house is quiet, dark, and no one to talk to. This is when I get lost in my thoughts. About my mom, the wreck, really just everything.
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