bubbleSnow2495 Member Profile

...See more I experienced a lot of sexual abuse as a child. It started off as molestation and escalated to rape and sodomy at the hands of my uncle. My father, to my belief as a child, did not see or know about any of it. I was able to stop the abuse at about the age of 12. As an adult, I have dealt with a lot of my trauma and I am still dealing with it. My therapist and I talked a lot about me telling my father about it, especially since he is friends with his brother-in-law. I finally did tell my father. His response is still something I am trying to process and I'm having a lot of trouble processing it. I don't know if anyone has any advice on how to help processing this and how to not fly into a fit of blind rage when I am forced to deal with him over the next couple of months via email. When I told him about the abuse, he proceeded to tell me that he didn't believe me at all and that he would be calling and asking this man for his side of the story and he would believe whatever this man said. I was outraged at this. My father continued to tell me that he didn't believe me and that even if it was true, that it would be my fault. He did call my uncle and ask him if what I was telling him was true, to which the man denied everything. My father came back at me, calling me a liar and asking why I would be so disrespectful. In being able to process his response slightly over the last 3.5, almost 4, weeks I have come to some horrible realizations that I cannot deny any longer. My father had to of known about the abuse at some point in time and choose to ignore it, choose to trade that for the "free childcare and car rides to after school activities" he received from my aunt and uncle for years. As a single parent, I understand he needed help. As a human being, I cannot understand why I had to be traded for these things. I cannot understand why he blames me, why he doesn't believe me. I've worked so hard to overcome this for so many years but his reaction has caused me to feel like a child again. When I have to interact with him via email (legally required until the end of year), just seeing his name in my inbox causes me to become so filled with rage it is scary even to me. I know that I need to process what has been going on but it is difficult to know where to begin or how to process something like this. I honestly did not expect this reacting from him. I prepared for a lot of different reactions but I really believed that he would always believe me...

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