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butterflyy3
1 1,347 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts65 Forum posts15 Forum upvotes24 Current upvotes24 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2025 Member sinceMay 20, 2023
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Repeated Rituals Help!!!
OCD & Related Behaviors / by butterflyy3
Last post
 November 8th, 2025
...See more Hi guys! I’d love to have some advice to help me stop doing certain things before bed in order to “feel safe” or to mask the what ifs that I continuously think. At night I have to put my brightest and volume at a certain level on my phone and put on dnd mode in a way that feels just right to me or else in my head I someone would get sick. I know that is very irrational and I know it’s all in my head. As well, I have a habit of knocking or tapping things 3 times when it’s related to a specific sickness I’m afraid of Especially before I eat out at a restaurant I sort of do this to “cancel out” anything bad Anyways, is there any suggestion on how to gradually stop this ? I’ll take any advice I could get right now.
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Advice?
Relationship Stress / by butterflyy3
Last post
 July 23rd, 2025
...See more So the last five months have been one of the best I’ve ever had in a long time. I met this girl and she completely changed me. I felt like I was on top of the world because of her but she didn’t believe that only because she thinks so low of herself. Anyways for 5 months we’ve basically acting like we were dating this whole time. We both knew she was moving away but we kept this going letting me to get so attached and fall in love. On the very last week before she moves she really hurt me. Yelling me can’t do this. I can’t be in a relationship. Very much shutting down all ideas of us being anything. She told me she wasn’t that into this anymore. She did tell me she didn’t wanna follow through and be official about a month ago yet she still wanted me close and was selfish for it. On the last day, she told me she loved me but she still did not want to give us a chance. She didn’t want to be with me. I really love her. I care so much for her so much so that I’ve still been talking to her giving her support bc she felt like she was hurting me a lot and she felt terrible for it. As well it’s been tough leaving her family bc of school. As someone who was played with emotionally and who still really loves her. What should I do now? She still wants to be friends even if she loves me too. I just feel so stuck.
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What’s on my mind…
Relationship Stress / by butterflyy3
Last post
 February 9th, 2025
...See more I’ve been feeling lost recently in my relationship. Everyday was so perfect the first 2 ish months now I feel like a shift in my brain happened and I’m the only one feeling this way. I said I love you too fast and said I need time for that now I’m struggling to show any sort of affection. I still care about him deeply and wanna be there for him. But I can’t seem to show further affection anymore as if I’m not attracted anymore or I’m easily annoyed by him. I also am not sure if he’s the right person for me. We fought a lot in the first 3 months and it was weird because it was the so called honey moon phase.  Valentine’s Day is soon and I’m worried I don’t know how to go about this. I just know to be honest with him. It’s just tough do I buy something for him how do I act on the most romantic day ever when I can barely show anything to him.
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Any advice would help :)
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by butterflyy3
Last post
 February 10th, 2025
...See more Any tips on how you knew you liked the same sex? I’ve been struggling with these thoughts for a long time since I was a Tom boy in elementary school. My first long term relationship lasted 5 years, high school sweethearts with a boy we ended and I still had the same thoughts that was one of the reasons why I wanted it to end to “experiment” that didn’t happen as I met up with more guys. I’m starting to think I did that because I wanted to see if I could have a connection or attraction to them. I can’t help but notice that I find girls really pretty and when I see their smiles I find comfort in it. When a guy compliments me I feel less of an emotion than if an another girl would. I’m not sure how to explain my thoughts it’s all a mess right now but there is evidently something uncertain about this. I’m in a new relationship now 4 months in and I’m realizing he can be so perfect and nice and amazing yet I feel unfulfilled at the end of the day. He does make me happy and laugh but then when I’m with him I almost feel super tired after. He also has different interests very much into the party lifestyle and not caring when I’m very much the opposite. I care so much and not a smoker nor a drinker. Things got real like I’ve met his family too and bonded but I just keep thinking about if I like women if that’s the reason I don’t feel fulfilled with him. not sure what to do at this point and not sure if anyone can help 🤷‍♀️ there’s more I could say it’s just too much for one post. LOL
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Is there something wrong with me ?
Relationship Stress / by butterflyy3
Last post
 January 18th, 2025
...See more I have this hole I feel in me that I can’t even close up. I feel pretty confused. I’m dating my current bf for only 3 months now and I already feel like I’ve been messing up. My past relationship was 5 years and it hard for me bc it was super rushed and I was so young not knowing how things works and if I truly loved him or not. Even after 5 years of being with him I still feel like I can’t love or be loved. Currently after a year of being single, I’ve found a really great guy and he took me by surprise and made me feel all sorts of good. He asked me out very soon on and said I love you first. I was pressured to say it back so I did and ever since then I’ve been regretting it. I’m not there yet maybe ? Everyone is telling me I’m happier with him but recently I’ve been feeling not happy and overthinking a lot. Really pressuring myself to figure out if I love him or not. Why can’t I fully love him. I’m able to instantly care for him and be there for him but I simply have a hard time showing more affection through words like I love you. Why don’t I even accept his love? In person I feel more connected than through phones but still why do I struggling to say I love you. He does make me really happy and I find myself being more open to affection with him usually I hated to be touched all the time and hugged but he makes me feel comfortable doing so.  He now believes that when I say I don’t mean it and that he can’t tell if I’ll ever will love him. I simply in shambles and don’t know what to do or how to fix this. I don’t even know what I need for myself. I feel like I’m a cold person just self destructing good things in my life. (My family rarely told me they loved me so it’s awkward for me to say it to them or to anyone ) I know this is a long message I just don’t know what to do anymore. 
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a little rant
OCD & Related Behaviors / by butterflyy3
Last post
 January 20th, 2024
...See more hi to whoever is kind enough to read this thread. i’ve been dealing with my ocd for over 3 years now. it started bc of this stupid cooking class i took which led me to my lovely friends tina (contamination ocd). don’t laugh bc i named it… life gets hard i put humour to help. anyways, since then i haven’t been myself. i’ve lost friends, had breakups and even got told the wonderful news that my ex and my best friend are dating. i want to tell myself that if they are happy i am happy but i can’t it’s not right. what happened to girl code? keep in mind me and my ex were dating almost 5 years. to be fair, i wasn’t the best gf to him or at least i saw it that way. it could of been my depression that kicked in later from my ocd. i never enjoyed anything but he kept trying and loving me. i ended up breaking up with him to focus on me and i said some poorly things to him such as i wanted to explore other ppl bc i’ve been feeling like im stuck in this continuous cycle and bubble with my ocd/depression and the fact that i might acc like girls too. i hooked up with some guy after the breakup which i deeply regret. but lots was on my mind and i lead him on the last bits of our relationship. i feel terrible that i did. i do miss him a lot bc he was my best friend and he knew me so well when i felt like i was a ghost to myself. anyways i know this isn’t anything related to my ocd. but it definitely has an impact on my life. should i even be worried about them two dating? i can’t shake the feeling that me wanting to do something for ME for once is so much worse than my best friend and ex hooking up and eventually dating.
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looking for some advice or what to do for class
Student Support / by butterflyy3
Last post
 December 29th, 2023
...See more would you rather have three 8:30 am morning classes with a midday lab time or have 2 evening classes at 5-7pm with labs ending at 9pm?
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