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calmSpruce3023
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts30 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2015 Member sinceOctober 7, 2015
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My boyfriend doesn't get my anxiety and it makes me worse
Anxiety Support / by calmSpruce3023
Last post
 May 28th, 2022
...See more Hey there, I love my boyfriend. Ill start off with that. But I don't think he understands my anxiety and to be honest, it's getting worse. I am getting very depressed and I know I should be on medication - but I can't. I was in hospital 5 months ago and since then I have had constant infections due to antibiotics and medicine, and now I can't even take my skin tablets to fight my acne (shit one.) So I'm really not dealing with being ill all the time well. It doesn't help that it affects my sex life and makes me feel abnormal and upset. So all these bottled up emotions ended up spilling. My boyfriend "doesn't date." He had a bad relationship three years ago and since then has just messed around with girls, so I am delighted he asked me out four months ago and since we've been great friends for a year first, I feel comfortable with him. However he isn't good at emotions or sharing them, so I fake being happy a lot of the time. However all my recent stress built up and I accidentally burst into tears when I was with him at his house. He tried consoling me and then things got awkward and I got guilty and I apologized too much and he started ignoring me and went on his phone... you get the picture, it went shit and I felt even worse for trying to open up at all. It was so awkward his mum tried cheering me up as I left. Next thing I know he's messaging less, going out clubbing and drinking without telling me, even though he "hates town", and I'm left feeling an awful anxious mess at home. I'm so unhappy at the distance that suddenly appeared that I can't do my college work. I've tried for the past six hours, and I've written 3 lines out of the 1,500 words that are due. It's now 3am. I really am struggling with my anxiety and how he reacts to it. And college is important to me but I lack all motivation. Please send advice.
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