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cherrycherry01
135 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2021 Member sinceMay 25, 2021
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I want to stop being toxic - please help?
Relationship Stress / by cherrycherry01
Last post
 June 17th, 2021
...See more my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me on friday. i'm hopeful it won't be forever because we believe we are soulmates but i understand we need a break because i have some issues to work on. our relationship is great but i have toxic behaviours sometimes and i want to fix it. i acknowledge i was the issue in our relationship and not him. he's been nothing but wonderful to me and i think the way i can be is a result of childhood trauma and my own issues, but i don't want to make excuses and i want to fix this because he doesn't deserve it. i have written down the main issues that i was doing. some are more minor than others but they're all still important. 1 - insecurities, i struggle with EDs and think because of my rocky relationship with myself this may have effected the relationship, he always wanted to help me and i think it effected him that he couldn't help me (even though it wasn't his fault) 2 - manipulation, i'm guilty of being manipulative at times because we were so close and i was jealous when he was doing things that didn't revolve around me. 3 - anger issues, i also would sometimes take my anger out on him when what i was annoyed at wasnt his fault. 4 - selfishness, sometimes i would be selfish too, and only think about myself and not his feelings and i wouldn't think before i spoke 5 - clingyness, he was the only person i felt safe enough to talk to about my problems so i think this made me too dependent on him does anyone have any advice? i feel like an awful person and i have been at times but i want to help myself. i don't want to be this way. i want to be better and be better for him because i don't want to lose him permanently. he said he loves me so much and wants us to work. i've tried speaking to my friends about it and although i've told them i'm in the wrong, they can't really help much because they are trying to be nice and they only see the good side of me if that makes sense. any tips would be helpful :(
cherrycherry01 profile picture
I want to stop being toxic - please help
Relationship Stress / by cherrycherry01
Last post
 May 25th, 2021
...See more my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me on friday. i'm hopeful it won't be forever because we believe we are soulmates but i understand we need a break because i have some issues to work on. our relationship is great but i have toxic behaviours sometimes and i want to fix it. i acknowledge i was the issue in our relationship and not him. he's been nothing but wonderful to me and i think the way i can be is a result of childhood trauma and my own issues, but i don't want to make excuses and i want to fix this because he doesn't deserve it. i have written down the main issues that i was doing. some are more minor than others but they're all still important. 1 - insecurities, i struggle with EDs and think because of my rocky relationship with myself this may have effected the relationship, he always wanted to help me and i think it effected him that he couldn't help me (even though it wasn't his fault) 2 - manipulation, i'm guilty of being manipulative at times because we were so close and i was jealous when he was doing things that didn't revolve around me. 3 - anger issues, i also would sometimes take my anger out on him when what i was annoyed at wasnt his fault. 4 - selfishness, sometimes i would be selfish too, and only think about myself and not his feelings and i wouldn't think before i spoke 5 - clingyness, he was the only person i felt safe enough to talk to about my problems so i think this made me too dependent on him does anyone have any advice? i feel like an awful person and i have been at times but i want to help myself. i don't want to be this way. i want to be better and be better for him because i don't want to lose him permanently. he said he loves me so much and wants us to work. i've tried speaking to my friends about it and although i've told them i'm in the wrong, they can't really help much because they are trying to be nice and they only see the good side of me if that makes sense. any tips would be helpful :(
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