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cherrypie0078
253 M Embraced 2
PathStep 18 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceApril 4, 2022
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Withdraw Pursuit circle
Relationship Stress / by cherrypie0078
Last post
 April 20th, 2022
...See more My boyfriend (withdrawer) and I (pursuer) are in this vicious cycle. We both want the same things but can’t find the right way to communicate. When I calmly try to explain my feelings, regardless of what it is he tells me I am picking a fight, thinks I am mad and then withdraws. I pursue as he’s not picking up what I am putting down and the cycle continues. How do I break this pattern as when I have let him be, he gets angry at me for not reaching out and when I withdraw he withdraws even more. It’s almost as if this rat race validates something for him. How do I become a better communicator? I’ve tried the I feel statements, I don’t name call and talk as calm as I can. He puts blame and name calls and I ask him not to and he turns it into me trying to be more superior and intelligent than him. I need a strategy to not make him feel like I am treating him like a patient or an employee as he would say.
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Mature or Move on?
Relationship Stress / by cherrypie0078
Last post
 April 18th, 2022
...See more I am currently living with my boyfriend. We get along most of the time and usually when we’re together it’s the best the actual best. I found out two months ago that he was texting other women when he would go out for the weekends and spend the weekends in away at his friends house and would be would lie to me about why he’s going and not tell me what he’s doing or where he’s going or give me updates or check in or anything. Anyways fast forward to now I want to be with him I love him he wants to be with me we figured it out that it was just insecurities and jealousy and he thought I wasn’t committed and therefore was keeping his options open so we solidified our bond, but I still don’t trust him. I’m not gonna tell him to not go out and spend time with his friends because that’s important , but I do need him to check in with me and be honest and plan for when he’s going to leave. Is this asking too much? Am I being too clingy or jealous or? I set boundaries for him when he does leave for the weekends to message me good night and call me when he’s going to sleep just to kind of ease my mind but he doesn’t and then gets upset and doesn’t come home because he thinks because he thinks I’m mad at him. I honestly don’t know how to handle this situation. I want to trust him, but I need him to be considerate of my feelings.
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