Mature or Move on?
I am currently living with my boyfriend. We get along most of the time and usually when we’re together it’s the best the actual best. I found out two months ago that he was texting other women when he would go out for the weekends and spend the weekends in away at his friends house and would be would lie to me about why he’s going and not tell me what he’s doing or where he’s going or give me updates or check in or anything. Anyways fast forward to now I want to be with him I love him he wants to be with me we figured it out that it was just insecurities and jealousy and he thought I wasn’t committed and therefore was keeping his options open so we solidified our bond, but I still don’t trust him. I’m not gonna tell him to not go out and spend time with his friends because that’s important , but I do need him to check in with me and be honest and plan for when he’s going to leave. Is this asking too much? Am I being too clingy or jealous or?
I set boundaries for him when he does leave for the weekends to message me good night and call me when he’s going to sleep just to kind of ease my mind but he doesn’t and then gets upset and doesn’t come home because he thinks because he thinks I’m mad at him.
I honestly don’t know how to handle this situation. I want to trust him, but I need him to be considerate of my feelings.
Hey there! It's a complicated situation, your feelings are 100% valid. It's understandable to feel insecure.
You are not asking too much - there is not "too much", you can ask for everything but without really expecting to receive it.
Of course he should be more considerate of your feelings and it should be also up to him to fix things. You are trying your best, but he needs to reciprocate your efforts if he cares about you, he shouldn't take you for granted.
Tell him about how you feel and see how it goes. It's okay to keep trying, but when the other person clearly shows their lack of commitment, it may be time to disengage.
Take your time, I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you for validating my feelings.
I find that when I communicate to him he just gets angry and doesn’t want to be “that” couple. I have asked him to match the effort I am putting into fixing this but he literally just doesn’t think when he’s out, see his friends, gets wasted and stays out all night and even admits that he wasn’t thinking. And that is what upsets me and makes me feel like my feelings aren’t a priority.
I suppose I need to figure out if these are behaviours I can live with. I want to. I love him. But I am exhausted.
There is a type of person who sees nothing wrong with finding relationships online. they simply do not consider it something serious and essential for a real relationship. You might see people like this at onenightfriend.com. But I also know that those who prefer such a relationship immediately speak about their preferences. They are waiting for the woman who will support them .. But he didn’t tell you anything, did he?
