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cptsdjourney
244 M Embraced 2
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts67 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 30, 2023
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Trapped
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by cptsdjourney
Last post
 February 20th, 2023
...See more I feel trapped and scared. I had asked a old friend (that I haven't talked to in 2 years) to speak at my AA meeting and she did but she ended up staying the night because it was too late and dark for her to drive home. The sleepover was great, first time someone cared enough to hang out with me in quite some time. But i wonder if there is a motive? She is a sex addict and I don't like sex. I also am triggered easily (trauma) and the things she says are very triggering. And I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I wish it would. I don't want a friend. Especially if it's nice to hang out with someone and feel incredibly low and scared when they leave. I agreed to have her over again. And now I am in another situation I can't get myself out of. I just want to be normal.
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CPTSD and relationship issues
Trauma Support / by cptsdjourney
Last post
 March 17th, 2023
...See more Hi I'm MJ, new here. I am really struggling today. I am in AA and ACA (mostly ACA due to AA's abusive shaming and religious dialog.) I had a couple friends in the program, we went back and forth, push and pull. I did the pushing away. They would let me go. So for months now, I started to stop making the effort and in return my phone has been completely silent. Anyway, I was looking for a speaker for the meeting and I asked the one friend who doesn't talk to me, he suggested someone for me, so I asked him if he could ask her for me and he told me to ask her myself. So I wasnt going to argue, I told him fine give her my number. (I already knew her) So she asked if she could sleep over due to it being later at night and living further away and work in the morning. So we had a good time last night, I can't remember the last time someone hing out with me. However her talk, sensitive subjects is always very triggering for me and I forgot that's one of the reasons I stopped talking to her. Plus I have a feeling she likes me because she is a sex addict and that talk was also disturbing. So now, she wants to get together again, I couldn't say no. I hope she's too busy to hang out again. So now I feel scared, unsafe and extremely low and ashamed. I feel trapped and just wanna shut myself off from the world.
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