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doingmybest33
3,872 M Seeking Light 3
PathStep 47 Compassion hearts229 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2023 Member sinceJuly 2, 2021
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Boyfriend flirted with girls during our relationship, and doesn't want me to break up with him
Relationship Stress / by doingmybest33
Last post
 August 10th, 2021
...See more I'm sorry if this is long, there's also a lot more to the story in regards to him and I's conversation about everything that I don't have space to include so I'll try to just go over the highpoints. The other day I found out my boyfriend of almost a year had been occasionally flirting with girls he used to go to school with via Snapchat or Instagram. I knew something was wrong, and had asked to go through his phone (he let me and even told me what I was going to find and started apologizing) and I saw the messages. He told me there was nothing physical, just texting and flirting, and even started crying as I was looking at them. I was so heart broken, and made this clear and told him I think we should break up to which he got upset and told me he didn't want that at all. He told me he knew it was wrong, and that he has had problems with that stuff in his last relationships and that he's sorry. He said he was going to stop, block the girls and even delete his Snapchat (he actually did do all of this so far), never do it again even to new girls that may approach him, and that he wanted me to give the relationship time for him to show me he actually wants to be with me. I don't know how to think or feel about any of this, and I have a hard time trusting his word right now. He keeps telling me things are going to get better, and that he loves me but I just feel very numb and hurt towards him right now. He keeps telling me how sorry he is, that he feels horrible he hurt me and ruined our relationship, that he promises he's going to change and make our relationship good again. I don't doubt he loves me, I simply doubt he's never going to do this again. I told him if this ever happens again I'm not going to stay with him. I don't even know if I want to actually continue this relationship, as I don't want to get hurt again. Anyone I've talked to (I've shown them him and I's texts about this and explained our conversation better than I can here) has told me he seems to really care, and I should give him a chance but they support my decision of leaving if I feel I need to. Any advice or support about any of this would be appreciated.
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Communication Issues
Relationship Stress / by doingmybest33
Last post
 September 7th, 2021
...See more I'd really appreciate any advice or support regarding this. I'm not sure how to go about explaining this, as the situation itself is fairly complicated (there's also a lot more to it but it's too much to add in here) Me and my boyfriend have been dating almost a year now, and we don't live together and both have busy schedules so we rarely get to see each other too. I have a job and family things, and my boyfriend does a lot of work with his family on their different properties, and some other responsibilities regarding his pets and other things. My boyfriend tends to go radio silent during the day, and whenever he finally responds it's always him saying "I'm sorry I was busy" but never explaining what he was doing even when I ask. When I ask it's always just a few short things or he never goes into a lot of detail. Whenever we make plans as well he never can give me concrete times on when we can see each other, and our plans are never fully confirmed until just a few hours prior to us actually seeing each other. He says his home life is chaotic and difficult to work around sometimes, but something about the situation just keeps bothering me. Whenever he goes radio silent like that I feel like I did something wrong, or that he's hiding something from me, and the fact that he can never confirm plans until a few hours prior really just makes me feel like an afterthought. I understand his home life can make things difficult, but I really wish he would communicate with me more during the day and make more of an effort whenever we make plans. He tells me all the time he loves me and will even get upset and sad sometimes if I express some sort of doubt in it, and there are other things he does and says that makes me believe he's not trying to hurt me on purpose but I don't know how to get it through to him how much the lack of communication bothers me. I've tried before, and the situation just ends in him explaining it's hard for him to communicate things like that because of how his home life is, and that he doesn't try to hurt me. Once again I understand it, but I wish we could find some sort of compromise or something because it just feels like the situation hasn't been resolved, and I don't know how to go about doing it. This is such a weirdly specific post, and I apologize if this seems stupid to talk about in any way, but I really would appreciate any advice or support or insight.
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