Boyfriend flirted with girls during our relationship, and doesn't want me to break up with him
I'm sorry if this is long, there's also a lot more to the story in regards to him and I's conversation about everything that I don't have space to include so I'll try to just go over the highpoints. The other day I found out my boyfriend of almost a year had been occasionally flirting with girls he used to go to school with via Snapchat or Instagram. I knew something was wrong, and had asked to go through his phone (he let me and even told me what I was going to find and started apologizing) and I saw the messages. He told me there was nothing physical, just texting and flirting, and even started crying as I was looking at them. I was so heart broken, and made this clear and told him I think we should break up to which he got upset and told me he didn't want that at all. He told me he knew it was wrong, and that he has had problems with that stuff in his last relationships and that he's sorry. He said he was going to stop, block the girls and even delete his Snapchat (he actually did do all of this so far), never do it again even to new girls that may approach him, and that he wanted me to give the relationship time for him to show me he actually wants to be with me. I don't know how to think or feel about any of this, and I have a hard time trusting his word right now. He keeps telling me things are going to get better, and that he loves me but I just feel very numb and hurt towards him right now. He keeps telling me how sorry he is, that he feels horrible he hurt me and ruined our relationship, that he promises he's going to change and make our relationship good again. I don't doubt he loves me, I simply doubt he's never going to do this again. I told him if this ever happens again I'm not going to stay with him. I don't even know if I want to actually continue this relationship, as I don't want to get hurt again. Anyone I've talked to (I've shown them him and I's texts about this and explained our conversation better than I can here) has told me he seems to really care, and I should give him a chance but they support my decision of leaving if I feel I need to. Any advice or support about any of this would be appreciated.
Girl I’m so sorry . Ik this feeling sucks ass … my husband claims the same that he has changed from his past and that he wants to be better than his own parents and yet he’s able to retweet naked pictures of girls and like there post and all that and when it comes to vis verse boy does he get upset if I even like a picture that has a guy in it little less if he was naked .. I really wish I knew the wanders to this logic cause tbh I get tired of hearing “guys will be guys” or whatever else lame excuse they have
He mentioned he had issues with this before. So get to the bottom of those issues and ask him if he's willing to really open up and address those. Explain that changing his ways is going to be really difficult but if he is willing to you'll support him.
However, make it crystal clear that you expect him to not only be exclusive, but that you expect him to be loyal in his conversations, messages etc regardless of whether you're there or not.
Don't get paranoid but if it does happen again, actually follow through and leave. Otherwise it'll just continue