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dreamerboyvix
1 90 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2023 Member sinceMay 23, 2023
Bio

25 year old just trying to pave my way in life!

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Thoughts?
Relationship Stress / by dreamerboyvix
Last post
 May 29th, 2023
...See more My “ex”, we broke up over a month ago. We didnt stop loving each other but she felt she needed some space alone to clear up her mental health and not be tied into a relationship. It was a healthy relationship overall but the toxic aspects of it: co-dependency for example, really kept us from staying together. So, through this time we’re working on all the things that sort of led us to breaking up. I have really bad anxiety as well and with covid that made it worse. It also kept me indoors for the last few years which lowered my confidence. I’ve been slowly working to regain that and begin my life again, finishing school and taking certification courses so I can become a UI designer, or something of the likes. My anxiety has made it hard for me to find a job or even get outdoors. But I’ve began to work on that. Going out more, trying to make some new friends, be involved with volunteer opportunities, overall just engaging in ways I didn’t before. We’ve also still kept in contact, not daily or too often, and even when we do talk it’s not too much. Just a simple check in with each other. Though we do follow each other on ***. I’ve just been struggling, thought it was due to the co-dependency but really it’s because I just miss her. Of course it’s only been a month but I really have taken the time to find confidence in myself, still have a ways to go but I’m making progress! I support the decision she made and honestly, as much as it’d hurt but if she felt we couldn’t be in each others lives. I’d do it if it meant nothing but pure, genuine happiness for her. Also think during this time I’ve found the space to begin supporting myself. Figuring out my purpose, the joys I have in life so I’m not so dependent on her company to satisfy my thirst for happiness. I’m in a good place overall but without her it all feels so….I don’t even know if there’s a right word or phrase for it. Because it isn’t empty or incomplete. The best way I could think to describe it is if you were eating your favorite food or listening to your favorite song. And it fills your heart and soul. But you want to share this with that one special person…and just can’t. You’re happy but you wish she was there to be able to experience the happiness with you. I’ve felt we have been doing the right thing. But recently I’ve come to feel the opposite. Am I being unreasonable? In the end she still feels this is the right thing to do. And I’ll reiterate that I support it 100%. Regardless of how I feel, my emotions can’t dictate what is really needed. What does anyone think? And is it wrong for us to still be in contact with one another? This is a long post so I appreciate anyone who reads this. Thank you
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Difficulties making friends
Depression Support / by dreamerboyvix
Last post
 May 28th, 2023
...See more I’ve been trying hard to meet people I feel not only understand me, that I understand them, but that we’re alike in ways I need. Of course I expect differences, those are needed but it feels as if I can’t meet consistent people. It’s been a lonely feeling bc it feels like I’m constantly trying to connect with others but just can’t. Not that life is against me but sort of feels like it’s pushing me towards being by myself at times.
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