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eli314
2 4,940 M Seeking Light 7
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts174 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2026 Member sinceJuly 19, 2024
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surviving

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war is over?
ADHD Support / by eli314
Last post
 April 15th
...See more after a year, and basically a lifetime, i've managed to book an appointement for next week. wish me the best of luck, i just wanna come back and say "war is over".
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need support
ADHD Support / by eli314
Last post
 July 9th, 2025
...See more hello fellow adhers, just writing a message there asking for a little support. my brother and father are adhd, i present all the dsm5 criterias, and i got to a psychiatrist. and he was agreeing with me that i am indeed highly suspected of adhd. only the whole diagnosis process would cost more than 3'000 $ or so. so i gave up on formal assessement. i am trying to lean about stategies to cope with it, nootropics on top of coffee ect. its summer time, i had a bunch of projects but everthing feels... so weird. i basically cut out the few ppl that were there for me, one of the reason being they were not very supportive of this adhd side of me. i masked so well that everyone's doubting me now. so i found myself very isolated now. lonely, misunderstood and very sad and angry. and kinda ***. anyone wanna listen or become my friend? my parents, friends and society in general kinda gave up on me, i would really like to encounter some supportive person for once. (would prefer a female like myself) thanks for having read, hope to get some support </3
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Adult content, tik tok and binge eating
Addiction Support / by eli314
Last post
 April 22nd, 2025
...See more Hello everyone. I've been touched by your numerous stories so i thought why not sharing mine. I've been struggling with addictions most of my life, has started with food, then scrolling social medias, and adult content. Lately, i've also added stimulant substances like cafeine. Each time i tried to reduce one, i had to double dose on other to keep going. And i always wondered what was wrong with me. I often thought, is it toxic shame, cptsd, autism adhd? But i am starting to believe that it's just me. Today was a little turning point. I had planned my whole week-end to study and do my projects all well. But i messed up. Again. Bsed the whole day. I started at 7 and everything was going well til 12. Tasks were taking longer than expected. I tried til 15. Then period cramps hit and just gave in. Scrolled binged BSED the whole day. It was awful. And the hidden part is making it even worse. I like the version of others when they think i am high archiver. Uni, start-ups, association sports social im doing in all in once. Or i shall say i pretend. I'm just scared of everyone finding out that im not this perfect academic weapon all well organized with her huge google calendar. That everyone would find out how much of a mess i am in fact. How messy and impefect and suboptimal i truely am. And the most hyprocriticl part is me adoring playing the victim. Pretending not understanding how am i not attaining my fitness goals while being seen training hard. Knowing damn well i binge eat AS SOON AS a minor inconvinence hit. How dont i get perfect grades while i am seen arriving so early and sonserious at uni? Knowing damn well i scolled as soon as im home. In short, pretending and caring only about my external image. And the compliments never satisfies me. Knowing how much of a mess i am, how could one be so blinded by this whole game that im playing, to be point of congratuling me? Each time i mess up this bad as i did today, im just hoping for the day to end quick and have anothe chance for tomorrow. And the next day, im doing the exact same ***. :))) I just dont know what to do with myself anymore. I tried CBT, reading books on it, time management, pomodoros, sub-tasks, cold showers, study parteners, accountability, almost everything i could think of. Open to advices, discussions and feedbacks. </3
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