emayfbugg Member Profile

...See more I dated someone for two-ish months this year that I'm going to call Jacob (not their real name). I realize two months isn't very long but they were the first person I dated since high school (I'm in my early twenties now) and the first person I had sex with. A huge barrier in this relationship was that he worked overnights and had a family which took up a lot of his time. My anxiety became a third wheel and it upset me when he didn't respond to my messages or I didn't know when we could see each other. It got to the point of quadruple texting and unanswered calls. I got so caught up in my feelings of not feeling cared about rather than looking at the bigger picture of what was going on in his life. We decided to go on a "break" with no set time date. I reached out to him after about a month and he said that he didn't want to see each other anymore. He told me he didn't have any time and it wasn't fair to me. Jacob said that he wasn't angry at me for what happened and that he didn't think we were right for each other. I told him that I forgived him and he thanked me for not hating him. Ultimately, there were a lot of reasons outside of either of our control things didn't work out. Also, we just weren't the most compatible couple. I still feel guilty four months since we broke up about letting my anxiety become like I said a third wheel. It's hard because he'll always be important to me in some sense being the person I lost my virginity to. I would like to date someone new, but thinking about what happened before makes me anxious. I'm scared that my anxiety will just get in the way of another relationship. My question is how do I make peace with what happened and move forward? I want to stop beating myself up for my part and letting my anxiety become a third wheel.

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