Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
enthusiasticSpring4075
508 M Embraced 4
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2018 Member sinceSeptember 8, 2018
Bio
Recent forum posts
enthusiasticSpring4075 profile picture
He says he is confused and doesn't know if we are compatible?
Relationship Stress / by enthusiasticSpring4075
Last post
 September 11th, 2018
...See more My boyfriend of 3.5 years has recently been confused about us. We just moved to a new town to go to college together, but we are living seperately. He is going to school on campus and I am doing online school. I wanted to move out so I got an apartment with my friend who is also going to the school. However, I wouldn't have made this step if my boyfriend didn't encourage me to. About a month ago, we got into some huge fights over our physical and spiritual relationships, and he didn't know if it was good for us to continue. He took a break from me for a few days but eventually the feelings wore off and we were happy again. During the times that we are fighting I have horrible anxiety (i dont really suffer from anxiety at any other time) and it tends to linger even after issues are resolved. This thursday, we were out on a date having a good time as usual. That night after he left, I sent him a text just trying to vent about how moving out was affecting me, how I was worried about having a job and how I wanted to fix the issues we were having (easy issues to fix). He answers me saying " Am I always gonna be the one to push you forward to succeed?" He is worried that I'm not a driven person and that I'm too dependent on him. I say I don't understand how, I was simply just saying I was nervous to get a job and not that I wouldn't. I don't have a passion in life yet. I'm a very private shy person and I don't talk to many people. My boyfriend is an extrovert who loves hanging out with people, has many hobbies, is very driven, and has a great job. He begins to say he doesn't know whether we are compatible or not, because I'm not driven. I feel like this is unfair because I just moved out of my house for the first time 2 weeks ago to a new town. It's fair for me to be a little nervous. I need time to find my groove, meet new people and find something I'm passionate about in life. My boyfriend works for his father so he has never had to have a crappy job, so he doesn't understand how it feels to search or even be lost to find something he likes... he loves his job. When he begins to say things that sounds like he might end the relationship I completely freak out. He is my best friend and I am scared to lose him. However this just adds more "pressure" onto him and pushes him away, I know. I make the problem worse because I am so scared. I know it is natural to doubt relationships and some point and they go through different seasons. But I make him feel like this is unnatural and makes him even more confused. Right now we are on a break. I am getting support from my mom and she is helping me find a path. I am beginning to see a path form. Another thing to note is that the things he is bringing up as "problems" arent affecting our relationship actively at this moment. He is projecting his fears about me onto me as if they are causing issues now. I simply need time to finish them out. He doesnt want us to be too dependent on each other, however I never pressure him to spend his time with me, or tell him I am lonely etc. I just fear that I have ruined what we have because I freaked him out by being too scared about things.
Search more from @enthusiasticSpring4075
Community updates
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
11 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Honest Voice Strong Start Reconnect First Post Reaching out First Compassion Strong Bond I
Report an issue