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enthusiasticTangerine147
1 6,596 M Moving Along 4
PathStep 14 Compassion hearts170 Forum posts43 Forum upvotes52 Current upvotes52 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2026 Member sinceMay 28, 2018
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I hate my life
Depression Support / by enthusiasticTangerine147
Last post
 October 3rd, 2025
...See more The title should pretty much sum it up. My life is terrible.  Currently I am broke, unemployed and having to share a house with a friend because I can't afford to live on my own. I've been unemployed for the better part of the last 3 1/2 years. There have been short periods of time where I was employed (3-5 months), but various problems have happened and I either end up leaving or let go. I'm highly educated, highly motivated and able to teach people. My limitations are that I live outside the US and I can not speak the local language well. I look for work every day and apply for the jobs that I can do. For the past few months, I have been seeing a counselor through a program offered by the local government. The sessions I have had are free, but limited. My last session is next Monday. I've talked to my counselor about all of these issues.  I'm to the point that I want to ask her to hospitalize me because I can no longer deal with all of the issues I have.  Sometimes I just cry and wonder if things will ever get better. I feel discouraged and lonely.  I have only a few friends and practically no family to turn to.  I just hate my life. 
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Unstable Work History
Anxiety Support / by enthusiasticTangerine147
Last post
 September 1st, 2025
...See more Hi, I haven't had a stable job in over three years. Every time I get a job something happens and I lose the job. I feel like a failure. I've tried everything I can. It doesn't help that my experience is in a field that is very specialized and competitive.  Lately I've been looking for positions outside my field that would be related, but those are few and far between. Today I found one on a job board that would not only be great it would be perfect. I applied for it, but then I sat here and obsessed about my chances of getting the job. It went on for so long and so intensely that I ended up driving myself to tears and thinking about hurting myself.  I talked to a listener here and feel better for now, but I'm having a difficult time understanding a way how I can control my emotions when things get that bad. I feel like a total failure for not having a job for so long and I am also struggling financially. It is just difficult when things get that bad. Thanks for listening.
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I'm lost
Work & Career / by enthusiasticTangerine147
Last post
 May 27th, 2023
...See more Right now I feel a bit lost in terms of what I'm going to do for work. I'll briefly explain what has happened. For reference, I worked and lived in Korea for 18 years and moved to Vietnam last October. After getting a divorce in early 2018 I went to work for a university that I thought was going to be a great job. Little did I know it was horrible. The professors were treated poorly and the president of the program I worked in was abusive. I ended up lasting two years before I quit in early 2020. I had no luck finding a job and to make matters worse this was when the pandemic started. Finally in March of 2021 I found a full time job teaching. The classes at that time were all online. I was having some physical problems as I had some issues with my mouth. At the time I was taking medication that made me drowsy. This really affected my performance. Needless to say my contract was not renewed and I finished at the end of Feb 2022. Again I tried to find a good job, but as hard as I tried I couldn't. I decided to uproot myself and move to Vietnam and work there. In 2017 I had visited here for three months so I was somewhat familiar with the place. My new job has been pure ***. In December I ended up negotiating my way out of the contract early so I could leave at the end of May. I've been doing interviews the last few months and again nothing. Now I'm debating whether or not to go back to Korea. I'm really unhappy here and I don't think things will get better. The problem is I don't have a job there either and I would have to start over and find a place to live. I just need someone to give me some advice. Thanks....
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A marriage and a mess
Anxiety Support / by enthusiasticTangerine147
Last post
 April 22nd, 2020
...See more I am visiting a country in Africa because I met a woman online. I came here in late February and we got married in Mid-March. She is 25 years younger than me. We were stuck in lockdown for three beweeks which was lifted on Monday. I have been spending 24/7 with her and have found out that our personalities clash. Several times I've wanted to leave, but not felt up to it because feeling overwhelmed with dealing with her. I was afraid a few times I would hurt myself and called someone and talk to them. I also used listeners here. On Monday I finally made the reservations and will be leaving on Thursday to stay in a hotel the rest of the time I am here. I know there will be a conflict between us when I tell her that I am leaving. I feel that I've had to do all this under the radar to have the confidence to leave. My flight doesn't depart until May 5 because the boarders are still closed in the country. I can't wait to leave, but the conflict that will occur when I tell her will not be easy. I just feel like I"m trapped in this bad situation and have no one to help. David
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