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fairmindedVillage5874
1 199 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2025 Member sinceJuly 16, 2025
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I want to feel normal ( sorry if it’s too long)
Depression Support / by fairmindedVillage5874
Last post
 October 22nd, 2025
...See more Hello I don’t know how to start I’m new to this and decided to give it a try because I don’t feel like I should seek help I don’t deserve it and also because this way I don’t have to trouble the people around me Anyways sorry about that but for many years now I’ve been feeling disgusting I find living in my body repulsive I hate every inch of it I wish I could just live without a body or something I feel so dirty everyday I wake up no matter how much I shower no matter what I do I always feel dirty and disgusting and to make it worse I have like a very hypersexual brain and it makes me feel worse because I’m just like those creeps but I don’t want to be that way and people say it’s fine because it’s just you liking what you see but it’s not fine I find it all repulsing but I can’t stop no matter what I do and it just makes me feel even more dirty and then people always talk about how they do this with their girlfriends or do this with some random girl at a party but I find it all repulsing it’s disgusting and I hate it I wish I could live I wish that I could just exist without having to worry about those things I hate living in my body I just want to claw my skin out and maybe I’ll come out anew but I’m stuck in my dumb body my ugly body I am repulsive I hate it my friends tell me to get with a girl but I physically can’t maybe because of the fact that I think people like me don’t deserve anything or I just hate it it makes me feel dirty hearing people or just hearing about it reminds me of how normalized this is but I just dread my body I hate it and every second I’m in this body is another second of torture I don’t know how to explain these feelings this is all I could think of but there’s more to this even the way I act makes me feel repulsive I act different around everyone I don’t even know who I am anymore I’m always anxious I want to be special everyone around me seems special but I can never be good at anything I can never be special I can never stand out I’m always a background friend someone who is just there I hate it I hate myself with every ounce of my being sorry that this is so long I meant for it to be shorter but I got caught up.
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Sorry if it’s too long but please read
ADHD Support / by fairmindedVillage5874
Last post
 July 18th, 2025
...See more Hi, I’ve been feeling really confused and overwhelmed for a long time. My moods swing from being super energetic and enthusiastic to really down and depressed. Sometimes I even have breakdowns where I panic, scratch my thumb or arm, become mute, and don’t talk to anyone — it feels like I’m sinking. I sometimes act like different “versions” of myself to help make decisions and to relate better to the people I’m around. It’s not split personality disorder, just a way I cope. I lose interest in most things except manga, games, music, and my faith. When I do get motivated, it feels really strong and I can focus and commit, but only if I really care about it — if I don’t, I just half do it and lose interest quickly. Even though I struggle, I notice I have some strengths too — like bursts of creativity, enthusiasm, and being able to come up with new ideas or solutions. I can be really determined and focused on what I care about. My memory is bad sometimes — I forget things people tell me or things that happen, even if they just happened a minute ago. I get very distracted, especially if I don’t really care about what’s happening, which makes concentrating in school hard for me. But sometimes I suddenly remember things from years ago. I also struggle to explain how I feel and get easily overwhelmed. In my family, I’m kind of famous for how bad I am at finding things — even after people tell me where they are! I’m also very impatient and always need to fidget with something or chew on things when I’m sitting or standing. My mom even jokes she’s gonna buy me a pacifier because I chew on bottle caps, straws, and sometimes I even bite my shirt. I want to talk to my parents about this but I’m scared they’ll just say I’m lazy or wasting their time. I’m scared I’m just a normal teen and nothing’s really wrong. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you handle it? Thanks for listening. (Also I don’t wanna self diagnose myself so I hope no one takes offense to this I’m not claiming to have anything)
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