Sorry if it’s too long but please read

Hi, I’ve been feeling really confused and overwhelmed for a long time. My moods swing from being super energetic and enthusiastic to really down and depressed. Sometimes I even have breakdowns where I panic, scratch my thumb or arm, become mute, and don’t talk to anyone — it feels like I’m sinking.

I sometimes act like different “versions” of myself to help make decisions and to relate better to the people I’m around. It’s not split personality disorder, just a way I cope.

I lose interest in most things except manga, games, music, and my faith. When I do get motivated, it feels really strong and I can focus and commit, but only if I really care about it — if I don’t, I just half do it and lose interest quickly.

Even though I struggle, I notice I have some strengths too — like bursts of creativity, enthusiasm, and being able to come up with new ideas or solutions. I can be really determined and focused on what I care about.

My memory is bad sometimes — I forget things people tell me or things that happen, even if they just happened a minute ago. I get very distracted, especially if I don’t really care about what’s happening, which makes concentrating in school hard for me. But sometimes I suddenly remember things from years ago.

I also struggle to explain how I feel and get easily overwhelmed.

In my family, I’m kind of famous for how bad I am at finding things — even after people tell me where they are! I’m also very impatient and always need to fidget with something or chew on things when I’m sitting or standing. My mom even jokes she’s gonna buy me a pacifier because I chew on bottle caps, straws, and sometimes I even bite my shirt.

I want to talk to my parents about this but I’m scared they’ll just say I’m lazy or wasting their time. I’m scared I’m just a normal teen and nothing’s really wrong.

Has anyone else felt like this? How did you handle it? Thanks for listening.

(Also I don’t wanna self diagnose myself so I hope no one takes offense to this I’m not claiming to have anything)