I want to feel normal ( sorry if it’s too long)
Hello I don’t know how to start I’m new to this and decided to give it a try because I don’t feel like I should seek help I don’t deserve it and also because this way I don’t have to trouble the people around me
Anyways sorry about that but for many years now I’ve been feeling disgusting I find living in my body repulsive I hate every inch of it I wish I could just live without a
body or something I feel so dirty everyday I wake up no matter how much I shower no matter what I do I always feel dirty and disgusting and to make it worse I have like a very hypersexual brain and it makes me feel worse because I’m just like those creeps but I don’t want to be that way and people say it’s fine because it’s just you liking what you see but it’s not fine I find it all repulsing but I can’t stop no matter what I do and it just makes me feel even more dirty and then people always talk about how they do this with their girlfriends or do this with some random girl at a party but I find it all repulsing it’s disgusting and I hate it I wish I could live I wish that I could just exist without having to worry about those things I hate living in my body I just want to claw my skin out and maybe I’ll come out anew but I’m stuck in my dumb body my ugly body I am repulsive I hate it my friends tell me to get with a girl but I physically can’t maybe because of the fact that I think people like me don’t deserve anything or I just hate it it makes me feel dirty hearing people or just hearing about it reminds me of how normalized this is but I just dread my body I hate it and every second I’m in this body is another second of torture I don’t know how to explain these feelings this is all I could think of but there’s more to this even the way I act makes me feel repulsive I act different around everyone I don’t even know who I am anymore I’m always anxious I want to be special everyone around me seems special but I can never be good at anything I can never be special I can never stand out I’m always a background friend someone who is just there I hate it I hate myself with every ounce of my being sorry that this is so long I meant for it to be shorter but I got caught up.
@fairmindedVillage5874
🥺
I'm immensely sorry you feel so lonely.
That you are not special.
They you are not comfortable in your own body.
You are not repulsive .
You are not disgusting.
You are not weird.
You are just human.
And trying to process, hard and confusing emotions, it takes time and it takes communication.
Not bottling things up .
Not being so hard on yourself.
Because your feelings do matter.
💜💕
@Amanda84 thank you so much this mean a lot to me
@fairmindedVillage5874
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way and that you've been feeling this way in such a long time without expressing yourself.
I'm really proud of you for finally opening up about it all and I'd like to say the following things:
You deserve everything that's good and just in earth.
You're not Disgusting. Why? Because it's not your fault you're thinking like this or you feel like this.
Your body isn't ugly. Why? Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So maybe fo you you're ugly, but to someone or so many people out there, you're beauty can't be our into words.e
You're n n it a creep. Why,? Because creeeos don't have the kind of heart that you do. They don't feel guilty about their thoughts nor actions. You do and that's what differentiates you from them
Iiiui hope this helps you a bit
@royalOrange3538 Thank this really did help broaden my views on myself you’re right
Also, there's no such thing as normal. Just you being you.
