Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched
fearlessSpring5657
1 109 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2021 Member sinceNovember 2, 2021
Bio
Recent forum posts
fearlessSpring5657 profile picture
Tired
Depression Support / by fearlessSpring5657
Last post
 November 26th, 2021
...See more I've been dealing with depression for a while. My family didn't believe children could be depressed so I was never diagnosed until I went to college. I was never put on medication even though my therapist advised me to. I just wanted to try other methods first. Going to my therapist and group therapy sessions every week helped alot. I started opening up to my love ones more, keeping things bottled up less. It took awhile but I started to realize that I mattered. My thoughts, feelings, opinions mattered. I didn't have to constantly be there for everyone else before myself. I could just love me and be my own number one. But then life happened. My therapist had to move, my best friend (of 20 years) and I got into a really bad fight and are no longer talking, my family started falling apart, I had to quit my job that I loved. It was too many things horrible things happening back to back. I've fallen right back into old habits. Only now it's worst because I feel like so many people depend on me and I just feel lacking. Like I'm not enough. Like I'll never be enough no matter how hard I try. I just keep messing up. And I feel as if that dark empty insufferable hole I've spent so long trying to escape is just drowning me over and over again. I'm so tired all the time. I just want to curl in a ball and not talk or think or see anyone. Just for awhile but I know if I do that it'll be so hard to come back. But I'm hurting and I don't feel safe or free to talk to anyone about it. I was hoping writing it down would make me feel better but now I just feel even more exhausted.
fearlessSpring5657 profile picture
In need of a miracle
Family & Caregivers / by fearlessSpring5657
Last post
 November 18th, 2021
...See more I quit my job a few months ago to take care of my grandmother who has an incurable cancer. Ever since we found out, I've felt like I'm trapped in a nightmare. For the longest I didn't want to accept it and then something would happen-would keep happening!- and I'd just be devastated over and over again. In the beginning everything felt so hopeless. The doctors never had anything good to say. It was so bad that we had to switch doctors because it felt like they were giving up on her and it's good that we did because we found doctors willing to try but even then they couldn't give us any good news. I just kept waiting and hoping then falling apart every time we got more bad news. I started to feel like my mind snapped and I couldn't breath but I wasn't willing to give up and thankfully my grandmother wasn't either. Despite what everyone expected she has gotten SO MUCH BETTER. Doesn't even look like the same person when this whole thing stated. I stared to feel confident and I got comfortable. I started feeling safe. I wasn't scared every second of the day. I was sleeping again. Even thinking I could do a part time job because not working has not been nice to my bank account. But then something bad happened again. For a couple days she started looking like she did before and I felt my heart stop. I was that scared crying soul again just beginning the universe not to put her through this again. Let her just get better. She just got some scans so we are waiting for her results but I'm not sure I can take it if it's not good news. If there isn't a breakthrough after all of this? I just can't.
Search more from @fearlessSpring5657
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
7 total badges
Hand Shake Linked First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Teammate
Report an issue
Feel better with online therapy Professional, confidential and affordable. Start today
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched