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forcefulTown288
74 M Embraced
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2018 Member sinceJuly 13, 2018
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I was sexually abused and now my friend has been too
Trauma Support / by forcefulTown288
Last post
 July 15th, 2018
...See more hi, Im not sure why Im posting this really but I just needed to say this to someone, and while I have lots of people who really care about me and would listen its really difficult and feels like a lot of pressure to open up to them and say all of this. So here I am... when i was 11 I was sexually abused by a 16 year old boy at my school. At the time I didnt see it as too big of a deal because it was never penetrative and therefore thought my feelings about it were silly. I didnt realise that it was still sexual abuse until a while after and didnt fully accept it until quite recently. I felt like a fraud for being so upset about it. I never went to anyone about it, but the guy never tried to hide what he was doing so after a few months someone anonymously reported the abuse to the school. I had to write a statement but because I was so emotional I ended up missing out the worse parts and thus he was never charged. He had to stay a certain distance away from me but was never kicked out of the school, he attended sixth form at my school and I saw him almost everyday, though he didnt make contact. I never really spoke about this and never gave my parents any specifics (they still dont know the guys name) later on at 13 a guy I was dating forcibly fingered me and tore me, making me bleed, I was later on pressured into anal sex at 14 by a different boyfriend of been with for 6 months. Im now 17 and had pretty much pushed this all aside, I went to a few counseling sessions but never really felt able to open up about this as I still felt like a fraud. Yesterday my close friend was sexually abused in school (I go to a different school for sixth form) and obviously today everyone was talking about it today, I feel like a terrible friends because I cant help her and keep breaking down into tears and having panic attacks when its spoken about. I dont know how to be a good friend to her without panicking myself
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