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generousField9112
18,335 M Progress Road 6
PathStep 18 Compassion hearts216 Forum posts17 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceJune 6, 2020
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I lost my my love and my best friend
Relationship Stress / by generousField9112
Last post
 February 13th, 2021
...See more I hate break ups. We’ve been on and off but I was never the one who left. I was always the one so strong to admit that I loved this person and never felt I needed to say less. All I wanted to was to give him my everything and I did. I fell short. He didn’t love me the way I thought he did. It became conditional. He wasn’t sure of me yet dragged me along to believe he still loved me. It made me so emotional and anxious to be so attached because I was afraid to lose him. This man wasn’t even afraid to lose me. Whenever there was an argument it would end up with him seeing how I would react in pain to realize he wouldn’t want to deal with issues to eventually say yet again I am not what he wants in his life. With everything that could have been solved or avoided by the use of communication I feel regretful for the way I react to sensitive things affecting me because look at where it got me. The last and final ending for him leaving me with and her and hate and no emotion of love left right after such a good 3 weeks of us feeling great in the relationship and planning our future as in the next days and years. We were in a good place but one trigger brought back pain that wasn’t healed. When he’s angry he stays angry and I force myself to fight for us and not let his thoughts eat our relationship even when he’s so stubborn towards it. But I just end up hurting myself in the end. I stayed ten toes down for him but he couldn’t do the same for me. I’m the one hurting while he moves on like I never even existed. All I can see is the face he had and seriousness of walking out the door when he said he didn’t want us anymore. I have so much anger because I tried to stop him but I noticed there truly wasn’t love left in him. I’m so down that I still care an want to check on him but I myself is in the most damaged place that I need to love myself now. How can someone who makes you apart of your life, check in on you daily w calls and texts, and provide so much just change up so suddenly.
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