I lost my my love and my best friend
I hate break ups. We’ve been on and off but I was never the one who left. I was always the one so strong to admit that I loved this person and never felt I needed to say less. All I wanted to was to give him my everything and I did. I fell short. He didn’t love me the way I thought he did. It became conditional. He wasn’t sure of me yet dragged me along to believe he still loved me. It made me so emotional and anxious to be so attached because I was afraid to lose him. This man wasn’t even afraid to lose me. Whenever there was an argument it would end up with him seeing how I would react in pain to realize he wouldn’t want to deal with issues to eventually say yet again I am not what he wants in his life. With everything that could have been solved or avoided by the use of communication I feel regretful for the way I react to sensitive things affecting me because look at where it got me. The last and final ending for him leaving me with and her and hate and no emotion of love left right after such a good 3 weeks of us feeling great in the relationship and planning our future as in the next days and years. We were in a good place but one trigger brought back pain that wasn’t healed. When he’s angry he stays angry and I force myself to fight for us and not let his thoughts eat our relationship even when he’s so stubborn towards it. But I just end up hurting myself in the end. I stayed ten toes down for him but he couldn’t do the same for me. I’m the one hurting while he moves on like I never even existed. All I can see is the face he had and seriousness of walking out the door when he said he didn’t want us anymore. I have so much anger because I tried to stop him but I noticed there truly wasn’t love left in him. I’m so down that I still care an want to check on him but I myself is in the most damaged place that I need to love myself now. How can someone who makes you apart of your life, check in on you daily w calls and texts, and provide so much just change up so suddenly.
This is the real truth about relationships, they are wonderful at the beginning and then after 1 or 2 years they become normal. And if we breakup at the beginning or when it's wonderful it hearts a lot, its like someone dear to you died. To overcome this feeling need time and finding other better people that can really love you, there are billion people in this world and shorely you will find you sole mate. Just greaf for a period of time and delete everything that reminds you of him. Life is short and you deserve better, you are a very attractive person and people love you, be happy.
Thank you so much Definitely grieving currently.. I just felt like at an extent that if I gave my best I would be given best in return.. but I wasn’t enough . And I hate how worthless it makes me feel. And I I hate how his vision of me is so negative and not see me for who I really am because I know I my heart was pure. I tried so hard, truly.
Keep remembering that you did put the effort in and that you are a good person. Some relationships are just not meant to be. Let hurtful people go and be kind to yourself.
@blueKitten5708 Thank you just wish it was easier
I’ve just had the same thing, my partner left and I’m grieving. I keep telling myself that there are billions of people on earth but...how many are aged between 50 and 60, live in New Zealand and are single? I live in a small isolated rural community and I work in a daycare. I’m beginning to think my soul mate is also living on a small island but somewhere far far away and now we have a travel ban! Smiles. Time hopefully does mend all things.
@blueKitten5708 in the beginning of the relationship he kept telling me i was his soul mate..and i believed him. maybe we were just ttwin flames. and maybe our true soul mate is ourself
It’s a good thing he left now, and not 10 years from now. At least he is not stealing any more years from your life. I’ve dragged my husband along 16 years when we should have not even married and now I’m considering divorcing him. It’s better to breakup early. I wish you healing and peace.
@lifeisbeautiful37 thank you. I understand and have kept in mind that with my situation it could have been worse and that theres people who probbly are going thru worse..
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. My situation was slightly different than yours but I also feel like I lost my bestfriend and can't understand how he went from texting me every day throughout the day to just nothing. Even the day he said that he needed some space we still talked like normal that morning and we did every day before that too. I don't know what happened for certain but he definitely has changed over the past couple of months and is NOT the same person I have been with for almost 2 years. That person would have done EVERYTHING in his power to keep me from feeling like this, not be the one to cause the pain.
@Sara2018 im so sorry for what you are going through as well. and ughh he would call me several times a day whenever we both were home even we were occupied in our rooms doing our own thing, sometimes even fall asleep together on the phone. or he would call me right when he gets up from a nap, on his way to work, and even when hes off and i would do the same. so imagine how hard each day is for me. its been 2 day no contact but i wonder how hes doing or if its affecting him, the way its affecting me. im trying to compare this situation to a past time weve broken up and someone usually breaks contact in less than a week. but im hurt and it wont be me. i need to heal because usually when we fight i would call him from ignoring me and eventually be okay w me again. Also i usually he would use social media to express how he feels and i would assume from there but this time hes silent and i dont know if he even feels bad for leaving me hurt.
I haven't heard anything from him since Monday when I texted him that his stuff was outside my door. I don't know if I ever will and I'm not sure if I want to or not. After he picked it up I messaged him and basically said goodbye and that I hope he can find the happiness that he is looking for but I got no response. I have no intentions of ever getting back together even if he apologizes and wants to fix things. I just won't ever be able to trust him again no matter how much I still love him. I do have so many questions that I wish he would answer but maybe it's better that I don't ever know what happened. I suspect he might be hiding whatever it is because it will only hurt me if I know.
@Sara2018 are you still in contact w that man
I removed him as a friend on Facebook so he can't read any of my posts anymore but didn't block him in case I forgot to pack up something of his and he needs to let me know so I can return it. Otherwise, I have no plans to ever contact him again unless I find something in the apartment that I need to get back to him.
@Sara2018 ugh take it day by day. im so attached to where i feel like i still would want this person but he can b so cruel to me i know i dont derserve that treatmnt. i only got a basic narcisisstic apology that was basically "im sorry you feel that way". at least you know you dont want him back and just been considerate to give things back to him. we will get thru this <3
I do still want him and wish I could take him back. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Nobody is perfect but he was definitely a keeper... until now. Even if he somehow changed back into the amazing person he used to be, I know in my heart that I will always doubt anything he says due to the fact that I know he has lied to me and I can't be with someone who I'm constantly going to be second guessing. I just have to learn that he isn't "the one" afterall. It's so hard though.
I’m in the same situation. Every time he got upset or angry about something the default was “I deserve better and I don’t love you” then he’d leave, I’d get depressed, we wouldn’t talk, and I’d do some grand gesture to win him back. We’d talk, mainly about my “mistakes” and how if I do things better then we can work it out. I’d agree. Then another misunderstanding would happen and he’d default back to the same cycle. I think it’s hard because the insecurities he had caused him to believe I’m this terrible person who always was against him, meanwhile I did everything I could to do things right and make him feel appreciated. The last time we talked he told me “don’t talk to my family or friends, you’ll get closure in a few days but that’s all you’re ever gonna get from me”. So I blocked him and want to move on but I feel so stuck. I’ve never been this depressed or had so much anxiety in my life. This is my first really significant relationship. 3 years. And we’ve been broken up for a month. I hope this gets better soon, but I’m telling you, I can relate to you whole heartedly. It’s tough giving somebody your all, and your best, without them being able to see or appreciate that.
I'm so sorry...
I wish I knew that answer too.
Hi, you are so strong for putting up with all of it. I am so similar to you in that I refuse to give up and keep fighting for what I love even when the other person isn’t trying anymore. You deserve way more than that. I wish I could tell you a better advice but I’m going through a similar thing and I honestly don’t know. I know there’s someone better waiting for me and you out there. And that time heals all things.