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gentlePenguin1975
134 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceFebruary 24, 2021
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Sleep evades me
35 & Over Community / by gentlePenguin1975
Last post
 March 16th, 2021
...See more I hate to go to sleep, I know it's bad but I never look forward to it anymore. I have very active dreams almost every night. So active I feel as if I never went to sleep at all. Most of these dreams are no violent or scary just very real. I also always toss and turn never comfortable. I have bad hips and arthritis in my hand and arms so getting comfortable is hard. Any suggestions?
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Confused
Trauma Support / by gentlePenguin1975
Last post
 February 25th, 2021
...See more In my childhood I had a huge lose very early. When I was 7 my mother was killed in a head on collision, after which I believe I blocked a lot of things out of my mind because of the trauma of it. A few years after my grandfather was accused and admitted to abusing my younger cousin. He never physically abused me but did show me his penis while standing at the front door. Also my father would watch porn naked in front of me but never touched me of course I would leave the livingroom. Well those last sentences are incorrect. possibly. Just few years ago I was informed that this acquisition with my grandfather also included a neighbor as well and had happened for years until her preteens. I also was informed my sister was abused sexually by our father. So now with knowing this information I feel like memories I have are not as correct as I think. I always remember playing hide and seek at the neighbors house with my cousin.... which is all I remember about that house. Also I remember my grandfather like to spank us for no reason... I just remember the spanking not the reason or anything before that. I also always thought it was a dream but I thought I was dreaming that someone would come in my room and touch me. Now I think it was real and I just blocked the truth out. Sorry it was a little loud to read but it needed to be out.
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Newbie
35 & Over Community / by gentlePenguin1975
Last post
 March 1st, 2021
...See more Hi I am a 46 year old female with a lot of background noise in my life. It ranges from losing my mother at 7, abuse from family and friends, becoming a mother at 16, my addictions and family members addiction, estranged from my father, losing my father from suicide. My life has by far been difficult and I have a hard time accepting life when it's good to me. I have anxiety, insomnia and major depression as to which I hide on a daily. Positive notes I am married to my high-school sweetheart for 28 yrs 4 grown wonderful children and 7 amazing and beautiful grandchildren.
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