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goodApricot9974
735 M Little Steps
PathStep 27 Compassion hearts56 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceAugust 21, 2021
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Distance.
Relationship Stress / by goodApricot9974
Last post
 September 5th, 2021
...See more I'm in a happy relationship and I love my fiance to death. We've been together for three years, but before we gotten together we were best friends. He lives in a different country than I do and eventually I'll be leaving mine to be with him. But in the meantime I have to wait for him to meet the maintenance requirements. I have no doubts in my mind for him, but it's so hard. I'm not meant for long distance, not because of loyalty issues no, but because it's just so hard to be away and I am incredibly emotional... I'm visiting him now... I'm going back next month, and I'm already in tears thinking about leaving him. The world is so uncertain with COVID and everything... I'm so afraid and anxious the boarders will close yet and I won't see him for another year and a half straight or maybe longer. It sounds really stupid, I know, but I can't help the anxiety brewing inside of me. It spills over into my mood now even if I'm trying to enjoy myself. I keep rationalizing it, telling myself "Well, You're here now!" and trying to make this feeling go away, but I just can't. I think my mental health as a whole took a huge hit during COVID and it's hard to come back up. I'm just scared and I really don't want to be scared. I feel like a horrible person because I'm not being grateful for what I have currently, which is time with him. I'm just sad. I feel spoiled and stupid. Feeling this way makes me feel like a jerk.
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Hi!
Depression Support / by goodApricot9974
Last post
 August 23rd, 2021
...See more Hello everyone! Call me Apricot. I'm 26 years old. I have not been diagnosed with depression- doctors are expensive after all, but I've been dealing with symptoms of depression and anxiety since I was around eight, and every year it feels like it gets worse. It's been really hard lately. Nothing can even be wrong and I feel like I can't move sometimes. It probably doesn't help that I have some past trauma- I get nightmares almost every night because of it, but I have to do something. I can't live like this anymore. The road ahead will be bumpy, sure, but I'm going to try my hardest, even on my worse days. I really want to seek professional help, but money my whole life has always been a bit of an issue, so I'm trying my best to learn new coping mechanisms and new thought processes that won't send me into a loop of hating myself or on the verge of breakdown. 🙃 I like playing videogames. I've been playing WoW, breath of the wild, and Dragon Age Inquisition as of late. I also love DND. I've been with an amazing man for three years now... We plan to get married, but we don't live in the same country currently. We have to get our crap together first, but it'll happen one day. I'm not sure of many things, but I'm sure of him. I'm really lucky. I'm also obsessed with cats and animals in general. I really want to have a hobby farm one day... fingers crossed my body doesn't break by then. I'm pretty sickly as a person. I get a cold every other week which really doesn't help my mental state, but y'know. It is what it is.
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