Distance.
I'm in a happy relationship and I love my fiance to death. We've been together for three years, but before we gotten together we were best friends. He lives in a different country than I do and eventually I'll be leaving mine to be with him.
But in the meantime I have to wait for him to meet the maintenance requirements.
I have no doubts in my mind for him, but it's so hard. I'm not meant for long distance, not because of loyalty issues no, but because it's just so hard to be away and I am incredibly emotional...
I'm visiting him now... I'm going back next month, and I'm already in tears thinking about leaving him. The world is so uncertain with COVID and everything... I'm so afraid and anxious the boarders will close yet and I won't see him for another year and a half straight or maybe longer. It sounds really stupid, I know, but I can't help the anxiety brewing inside of me. It spills over into my mood now even if I'm trying to enjoy myself.
I keep rationalizing it, telling myself "Well, You're here now!" and trying to make this feeling go away, but I just can't. I think my mental health as a whole took a huge hit during COVID and it's hard to come back up.
I'm just scared and I really don't want to be scared. I feel like a horrible person because I'm not being grateful for what I have currently, which is time with him. I'm just sad. I feel spoiled and stupid. Feeling this way makes me feel like a jerk.
@goodApricot9974
You're not spoiled or stupid for feeling the way that you do right now. What you are feeling, and going through right now given the circumstance is completely normal. Things are hard. You long to see your fiance. I'm sorry that things seem so uncertain now. I'm sorry that you have to struggle with the distance, and wait so long to be with him everyday. It's so terrible. It's a horrid feeling. So again, how can you be stupid for feeling something that anyone in your shoes would. I get how this would be an incredibly anxious time for you. How could it not? Your mind is presenting you with all these bad and different scenarios, and it's going into overdrive. The what if's can really be difficult. I can tell you love your fiance a lot. I'm hoping the time flies for you to move in with him. I'm sorry about your situation, and I really and truly hope it gets better soon.
Im in a ldr as well it needs so much patience
@goodApricot9974 it sounds like you have so much going on right now! I can't imagine how hard this situation is for you. It's completly understandable that you don't want to leave your fiance, especially with the distance and the pandemic. I know it's hard right now with the circumstances. But you've got this! Your feelings are not stupid they are valid and to be expected with the current situation! I'm so sorry your going through this! We are all here for you. Take a deep breath and try and enjoy some time with your fiancé. Before you know it you guys will be together for the long term! Keep focusing on that💪🏻
@goodApricot9974
Hi there!
First off, congratulations on a happy relationship with your fiancée for 3 years, albeit long distance. I understand that it must be incredibly difficult remaining separated and that you’re yearning to unite as often as possible. Given the circumstances of COVID, it definitely makes things even harder. It’s abundantly clear to me that you love him very much - so much to the extent that you feel anxious and unable to enjoy yourself during the relatively short period that you’re currently able to share with him.
You’re definitely not spoiled, stupid, or even close to being a jerk. I think you’re perfectly justified in wanting to spend more time with your fiancée. I would go as far as to say that I envy your partner; he has someone so special and endearing. The care you demonstrate for your relationship puts butterflies in my stomach.
In any case, do your best to enjoy the time that you have together. I hope nothing but the best for you.
@goodApricot9974
Hi, Its okay to feel this way. It does not mean that you are a jerk or stupid. You love your fiance and miss him. Thats completely valid. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It seems difficult. I'm glad you're trying your best to enjoy your time with him this month. I do hope it will all get better.