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goodPlane9543
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PathStep 13 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceAugust 12, 2018
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Newer member - Hello
Newbie Hub / by goodPlane9543
Last post
 September 23rd, 2018
...See more Greetings, It's good to have found this website. I deal with anxiety, behavioral problems, unstable social skills, paranoia, and introversion. Diagnosed with schizophrenia, OCD, ASPD, GAD, it's been interesting to figure out the correct meds and coping mechanisms. I recently started to doubt my diagnosis of schizophrenia and personally feel I should be observed for high functioning Autism. I've been reading about psychology, pharmacology, the relation between the two with psychiatric medications, as well as a ton of other things that nobody needs to have the list of since about the age of 14. I'm 32 now. I've had problems with addiction to several drugs and alcohol for half my lifetime on and off. At the moment I barely drink, and I don't use drugs. My medications are olanzapine, clonazepam, and Wellbutrin . That's the best way that I could describe myself psychologically. I also successfully write and produce electronic music under the name "Crystal Radio". My confidence has improved since reaching #1 in my city, #2 in my province, #36 in the country, and #582 in the world. I'm referring to the charts on ReverbNation. It's home to all kinds of musicians, professional, popular, indie, amateur... Is it weird to have 2 beer with breakfast, but not drink for the rest of the day ? I was an alcoholic for over 10 years, drinking over a quart of 40% abv. liquor a day. I feel comfortable with the two morning beers, but opinions are always nice. The soft drink Fanta was invented and first produced in Nazi Germany due to Coca Cola products not being able to come across from the USA during times of high tension. Fun fact. Also, Hugo Boss, the famous fasion designer/company created the uniforms for the SS in WW2. John Harvey Kellog ran a sanitarium that would burn children's genitals with acid for touching themselves, and he went on to found what is Kellog's cereal these days. More random facts that nobody really cares about. I'm done. -Matthew- [MonBon removed dosages]
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New Member Introduction
Newbie Hub / by goodPlane9543
Last post
 September 19th, 2018
...See more Greetings and best wishes to all. I'm glad to have found this website through reddit. I have been seeing different psychiatrists and other mental health workers for a little over 10 years. Sadly, I have not had the best of luck, but I do take responsibility for myself and I can admit that I am at fault for making such slow progress over the years. Some issues have gotten better, but some new issues have emerged, and some exisiting ones have gotten worse as well. I'll try to be brief in my explanations. Teenage years - Depression, social anxiety. (Nowadays I would think this stage was a cakewalk.) Early 20's - Drug and alcohol abuse, becoming more eccentric, masking my depression and anxiety Mid to late 20's - Drug and alcohol abuse worsens, psychotic behaviour emerges, violent tendencies make an appearance, diagnosed with schizophrenia and OCD, spent some time in the psych ward 30 to (33 in September) - Drug use spiraled into using needles and smoking crystal meth daily. Frequent violent fantasies, bizarre and disturbing thoughts involving sex and violence becoming frightening, being arrested for a violent outburst, noticing that a lot of people are being "scared off" by my behavior and conversations. Diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. The last 2 weeks - Quit all drugs over a week ago, reduced my alcohol intake to a few beer a night, behavior improving on the outside but inside the same disturbing thoughts and urges continue. That is the best way that I can think of explaining things while trying not to write a book. Current medications prescribed - Olanzapine 10mg, Wellbutrin 300mg, Clonazepam .5mg X2 daily. I appreciate any feeback. I have never been able to find support anywhere regarding violent thoughts/urges, or any help for someone labeled a sociopath. Everything I can find online is support for those dealing with a sociopath. I'm confused about that diagnosis, because most people tell me I'm the nicest and most helpful person they know, despite my unpredictable behavior.
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