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greenPlane2706
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2021 Member sinceJune 16, 2021
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I need medical help but I’m afraid of what my mom will say
Family & Caregivers / by greenPlane2706
Last post
 June 20th, 2021
...See more I’m still in my teen years, 15 to be exact. I’ve been feeling miserable and horrible for a long while now, I’ve also done horrible things to myself that I should not have ever done. It wasn’t until another breakdown I had where I actually almost died when I decided that enough was enough and I needed to speak to someone. I told my aunt, she told my mom, I went to see a psychologist . This is where the family issue comes in.. My mom has a “unique” view on mental illnesses, she says you have to look and act a certain way if you have a mental problem, the reason why she doesn’t see me “act a certain way” is because I hide everything from my family. I want them to see me as the weird, wacky, girl they know and not some miserable self-loathing prick. The psychologist said I showed a lot of symptoms of depression and severe anxiety, even prescribing me to a doctor and telling me I needed medicine before I should talk to someone. I thought my mom would finally get that I was not okay, but I was terribly wrong. She kept asking how I could feel such way since I’m “only in the house” and that my parents aren’t fighting, that I had no reason to feel like not living. Just a while ago I had another attack, it was one of the worst ones I have ever had. I couldn’t breathe, I was gasping for air, I was on the verge of passing out. My best friend told me I needed to tell my mom that I really need a doctor before my mind breaks and I enter psychosis or something like that. I really want to but I know my mom will say something to make me back out again, shutting away. I don’t want to wait until its too late and my mind does break under the pressure and horrible feeling I have in my head, but I’m too much of a coward to tell my mom. Please, someone help me, I want to know what I should do.
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