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gvrdenia
201 M Embraced 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts48 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes24 Current upvotes24 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceOctober 13, 2022
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Need support
Anxiety Support / by gvrdenia
Last post
 January 18th, 2023
...See more My emetophobia has been acting up again to the point it makes me scared of eating in general, I caved in and bought The Emetophobia Manual today after seeing so many positive reviews on it, does anyone have any experience with this phobia and getting treatment for it? I’m a bit scared of getting proper treatment for it (ERP) My current therapist isn’t helping so I thought getting this book could help me in the meantime, thanks!
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Emetophobia
Anxiety Support / by gvrdenia
Last post
 January 16th, 2023
...See more I’ve been dealing with emetophobia since the 4th grade, I’m not gonna go into detail of what happened but to put it in simple words it was food poisoning and the *act* was non. stop. Ever since then I’ve been terrified of getting sick ever since, and I haven’t done it since, since June of last year my phobia got worse, and last October it got so bad I couldn’t eat for a few days because I was scared my body would somehow reject food, even though I was hungry but didn’t have an appetite, right now I’m getting over a cold and since my appetite has been weird since getting sick I’ve been eating only toast, apples, and chicken noodle soup, but now that I’m starting to feel better I wanna try to eat something else, but I’m terrified that my body will reject it, and I don’t want to regress to October where every bite of food gave me a panic attack. I feel hopeless that I’ll ever overcome this phobia, I’m terrified of ERP and I was wondering if anyone here has done it? Any success stories? I’ve heard about the books The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook and the Emetophobia Manual and I’m curious about them, could they be an alternative to ERP? I just need some encouragement, I’m driving my partner insane everyday because of my phobia and I feel like a burden… I can’t take it anymore, I don’t want to live like this forever…
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Mental Breakdown
General Support / by gvrdenia
Last post
 November 24th, 2022
...See more I just had a mental breakdown, the last time I had a mental breakdown was 2 months ago when I was told that my cat had died (I wasn’t around when it happened), I’m still trying to process that grief, but today was too much, I’ve been struggling with emetophobia since I was in the 4th grade, but it’s never been as bad as it has been the past month and a half, I’ve been doing better for the past 2 weeks but today I was so scared to eat my breakfast, one of my safe foods, when I took a bite I got an anxiety attack thinking my body was going to reject it and I was terrified I would gag or thr*w up, I know it’s just one time but since then I haven’t been able to eat anything besides half an apple I felt like I was back to square 1, and I was starting to worry that I might be developing ARFID, Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, the thought of that possibility sent me to tears because I already have so many mental issues that I feel like I’m crazy and I’ll never be normal… that’s when it sent me spiraling into a mental breakdown, I have GAD, OCD, emetophobia, currently dealing with the worst loss of my life (my cat meant the world to me), all these thoughts started rushing in my head and I’m not suicidal or have tendencies but I couldn’t stop thinking about it being too much for me to handle, I couldn’t take it, the thought of regressing back to when I couldn’t eat anything for days because of my stupid phobia was too much, I’m going to therapy for this now, but I just don’t know if I’ll ever get better, I feel hopeless, I feel like a burden to my boyfriend, his family, my family, I feel like I belong in a psych ward, I wish my anxiety didn’t ruin my life, it will sound silly on paper but I just want to enjoy food again, I don’t know what’s wrong with me that the most essential task to humanity felt impossible for me today, I know I’m rambling and I don’t expect many people to read this, I just felt desperate, I want someone to hear me and tell me I’m going to be okay even if I don’t believe it. Thank you for reading if you did ❤️
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Grief
General Support / by gvrdenia
Last post
 September 25th, 2023
...See more I don’t know where to go, I lost my precious cat 2 months ago unexpectedly, I loved her so much like my own daughter, our bond was so deep and I could tell how much she loved me too, at one point I repressed my grief because the pain was too much, but I’ve noticed that the more I repress it the more it hurts, I’ve never been through a loss this huge and it feels like my world turned upside down and I have this giant boulder pressing on my chest. I started therapy to help me get through this, I know it’s gonna take a long time to heal and maybe I’m being too hard on myself for expecting me to be over it by now, I don’t know what to do to process this, I don’t know what the right way to grieve is, I just know that I have been in so much pain everyday and it’s all I can think about, it’s completely killed my appetite and having emetophobia on top of that does not help, I’m terrified of eating anything every single day because I’m scared that if I don’t want food I’m going to be sick after eating something, this is the worst my mental health has been since 2019 and what frustrates me even more is that I’m on antidepressants and it doesn’t feel like it’s doing anything anymore, I don’t know if I’m oversharing I just have nowhere else to go or anyone to talk to as I’ve already exhausted my best friend and my partner for talking about how I’ve been feeling, this loss is just killing me and I’m losing hope, it’s so hard to be optimistic for the future when it feels like it won’t get better because it hasn’t for weeks, I just miss who I was before this all happened, I miss my cat so much it hurts, I’m ruining my relationship and my friendships because I’m hurting everyday. I will appreciate any type of support this posts gets, I’m just so lost…
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