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hef2455
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2021 Member sinceJune 14, 2021
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Letting my mother go?
Family & Caregivers / by hef2455
Last post
 June 15th, 2021
...See more Hi everybody! I am new here and could use a little bit of support. About 3 years ago I came out to my paretns. They both took it really hard, however, my dad came around a lot quicker than my mom (she still hasn't). My dad would call me every so often and make sure I was doing okay, but they never mentioned my girlfriend. Whenever I talked to them or would visit them, they would pretend like she didn't exist. About a year after I told them, my mom had a real converstation with me and tried to gaslight me into thinking that she was th victim. She would also send me all these articles and homilies that were alwas about how to "find the lord again:. Trying to hold on to any realtionship left, I let her continue this and I never said anything. I was so caught up in the "I do not want to hurt her more" mindset. We would have bi-weekly converstaions after that and it was always small talk, never the same as it was before I came out. Fast forward to last Christmas and she was super awkward and made it clear that she didn't trust or want to be around my girlfriend. After that I took a step back and didn't really reach out to her until she would text me. I felt as if she wanted a realtionship, she could reach out. Now here if where I am stressed. My girlfriend proposed earlier this year (I said yes) and we are getting married at the end of the month. To me, telling my parents I was getting married, felt like coming out again. It took me months to tell the, I finally worked up the courage and told them last week. My dad finally called me 3 days later (not to say congratulations) but to tell me that it's my choice and I can do whatever I want (duh) but they wouldn't be coming. I asked if my mom was ever going to talk to me again and he said "to give it time". I finally snapped and said everything I wanted to to him. I told him all my feelings about my mom and told him how mcuh they both hurt me. My mom still has not contacted me. I guess my fear is that she is going to contact me and I am going to want to reply, however, that gives her the confirmation that she can just do everything on her own time and get away with it. I am really considering cutting my parents off until they tell me they are going to change (which will probably be never). I was manipulated my whole life and the thought of that stresses me out! I am not letting my parents ruin my wedding and the people that reall matter will be there, but ti still hurts! Thank you for letting me vent (:
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