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helloField9357
133 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2021 Member sinceAugust 2, 2021
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My heart is torn between trying and leaving
Relationship Stress / by helloField9357
Last post
 August 4th, 2021
...See more Last week I broke up with my partner because I couldn't trust her. I've found out she had a thing with a guy two years ago. I knew she stayed over in the guest room while I was on holiday. Next day she tells me he made her feel uncomfortable and will never speak to him again. I only found out they actually had sex because two weeks ago she decided to message him about how he shouldn't make someone feel uncomfortable. When he didn't reply she sent angry messages about how forgettable the sex was, only remembering because of how uncomfortable and coercive she felt. I confronted her and she said it wasn't consensual and I'm blaming the victim. How dare I ask why would she sleep around his. I didn't even get a chance to ask her why she could have the courage to speak to him and her best friend before me. She wouldn't have told me. She refuses to discuss it. If it was non-consensual I understand. I contacted the guy and he sent me the whole messages. She's been flirting with him the whole time she was with me until that night. She even spoke to him a little afterwards. She's also been telling her best friend for months how she wants to leave me. When is she going to leave me and mean it. Describing her weekends with me as "surviving" them. She never told me I was doing anything wrong. Definitely didn't act like she had a terrible time. I couldn't believe how she was describing me. Acting like everything is fine, we're in love and having a fun time together. She never spoke to her friend about the good times. How I support her through her triggers, psychotic breakdowns or panic attacks. In conversations it looked like she completely hated being in the relationship and there was nothing good about it. Now we're trying to stay apart for a while to improve and work on ourselves before talking again. She left repeating how I'm gaslighting her, feels manipulated and abused by me. Not once apologising or mentioning how she was wrong in any way or what she should imorove on herself. My friends say she's lying and just did something she regrets. That I'm being manipulated and she's using her CPTSD as a weapon. I don't know what to do or feel. My friends think I'm an idiot. I went behind their backs and met her this weekend. Today we had our final call before the "not talking". Friends found out and they don't seem happy. I'm scared to confront anyone about this. I feel like an idiot. Am I victim blaming? Is she clearly lying? Am I gaslighting, manipulating and abusing her? Is she just a narcissist and doing these things to me? My life is a bad joke
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