Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
heyspencer
1 95 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2021 Member sinceJuly 21, 2021
Bio
Recent forum posts
heyspencer profile picture
my person
Personality Disorders Support / by heyspencer
Last post
 July 25th, 2021
...See more feeling very hard to love. the way that i think about my favorite person all day every day is so painful. i feel like a burden to him because my whole world revolves around him and if he’s okay i’m okay if he’s not i’m not and my feelings are so insanely strong and i know he’ll never be able to truly understand them because nobody knows the severity of what i feel for my favorite person besides me and it’s terrible because i feel like it makes it a burden to love me because i need the constant assurance and attention and it has to suck to try to be in a relationship with someone who is completely dependent on them even though they can’t help it. i feel like too much and i’m terrified that one day he’s gonna realize that and leave me. it’s happened before.
heyspencer profile picture
Communication
Relationship Stress / by heyspencer
Last post
 July 21st, 2021
...See more Me and my long distance boyfriend still have plenty of time that we need to spend learning about each other. My problem lies in his communication skills. He is someone with his own past trauma who tends to have bad days and in response completely shut down and push everyone and everything out and gets very distant very easily. I am someone who due to childhood trauma was forced to learn what lack of communication can do to someone, especially that is challenged with handfuls of mental disorders. I have taught myself communication and, not to toot my own horn here, am excellent at it. My poor boy is not. My last relationship prior to this beautiful boy caused me a lot of trauma with this specific topic. Being shut out and closed off when my partner is not doing well causes me extreme panic and terrible anxiety because i have very strong attatchment (i blame the BPD) and abandonment issues. I want so badly to teach him how important it is to simply reassure me when he’s having a bad day that he still loves me and he’s not going to leave me just because i want to be invested in his health and livelihood but i am so deeply afraid to even bring up the conversation because i fear that if i do that it’ll set him off and make him want to push me away or worse leave. I’m in desperate need of comfort and any sort of help as to how to handle myself when he is not doing well and needs his space, seeing as he is all i think about all the time and when he’s not okay i’m not okay and i do not know how to cope with it. We talk all the time about how i am his forever and he is mine, but simply saying that does not assure me that something like bad communication won’t destroy this thing that makes me so happy. I’m just not sure how to cope.
Search more from @heyspencer
Talk to an expert therapist
Throughout our lives, we are faced with many challenges and counseling can help...
Talk to Amanda Now
Badges & Awards
6 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Forum Friend
Report an issue