imaginativeCoconut6807 Member Profile

...See more Ive been with my husband for 17 years and we have 3 kids together. About 5 years ago i started to become unhappy and when i tried to talk to him about it he would become defensive and dismissive. About 3 years ago i made a huge mistake. I had an affair with a coworker. It devasted my husband when he found out. But it ended. My husband did everything he could to "win my heart back" but i wasnt ready yet i needed some space and his crying and begging made things worse. Well within a few months i started to feel happy again and I realized how stupid i was for risking everything and so i put in effort to make my marriage work. 6 months after my my husband started an affair. I found the messages and within a week he was telling her he loves her. I asked him tostop. A week later i found out he hadnt. So i contacted her to let her know he was married (he lied to her) and he got so angry with me that he left me. Its been a year since this happened. This past year has been a pattern. He moves out for a month and then asks to come home saying he sorry. I let him home and usually within a week or two i would find more messages from her promising he was workking on a divorce. I would let her know that he was living with me again and lying to herand he would get angry and leave again. Then he involved yet a 3rd woman who he would tell the same lies to but she didnt mean as much to him as the first other woman. She was a backup i think. He has come home about every other month this past year and promised to end it but he never did and her and i both continued to tolerate it. Well 1 week ago after being home for 2 weeks, he said he needed space overnight. That he wasnt sure he could forgive my affair. That i hurt him and changed him. But he said these things in a rage and told me some very hurtful things and called me names. He told me that to touch me made him feel disgusted and how she was everything i was not. And left. He moved in with her. He never intended it to be one night but didnt have the courage to tell me. Hes living with her now but I love him and this is not the man i knew. This is not him. He was always faithful until all this and i cant help but feel like its all my fault. I know it is actually. He calls me and text me tells me that he loves me but is undecided on who he wants. That he doesnt know what to do. Its been 1 week. Now i have become the mistress. He sees me behind her back and weve had sex a few times. He acts to his family and friends that everything is fine they have no idea he moved out. We still act like we are married and we enjoy each others company, no fighting. But at night he leaves to her home and then doesnt reply or answer if i try to contact him. Until the next morning when hes gone to work he wil call and just wants to act like nothing. I struggle because the fact that he tells me he loves me and we get along so great makes me hold on and hope that hes just going through a hard time but in the end will come home. But then again he does not show signes of coming home. He has us both. I dont know if i should fight for my husband or just let him go. I want him back but i want him faithful. My friends tell me its a lost cause and to give up but my heart cant. Im stuck. I know its a long post but I felt the need to give the back story.

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