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imaginativeKiwi877
1 230 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts68 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes52 Current upvotes52 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2023 Member sinceOctober 26, 2021
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36 and single for over a decade... feeling lost and lonely
35 & Over Community / by imaginativeKiwi877
Last post
 March 16th, 2023
...See more Hi there! So I'm a 36 year old man and I haven't been in a relationship since my early 20s. At the end of last year, I lost who I thought was my best friend for 12 years... found out she'd been manipulating me and gaslighting me most of the time we'd been friends. A long distance friend and a coworker who knew her basically pointed this out to me and I didn't listen until she blocked me for the fourth time in a year. Problem is, she was the ONLY friend I was seeing in person at all since covid happened. I've been comfortable going out and having fun alone for a long time, and going to amusement parks alone is admittedly a guilty pleasure of mine. The problem is, being a single man over 35, everybody anywhere NEAR my age is paired off and keeps to themselves. No matter what I do. Everybody who's unattached is a teenager. I've lost the few local friends I've had because they're either too afraid of covid to ever leave the house again, or they are too busy with their spouses and raising families. I've tried dating since I left my last girlfriend. I've tried many different apps, I've tried going out in public, I've tried all sorts of things, but I can't tell you how many times I've heard that I'm everything a woman doesn't want, or the classic "Oh you're so nice! Let's be friends!" followed by her complaining about the guy she's sleeping with this week. And I don't like sports or cars, and I've heard plenty of times that "Eww I've never met a guy like that!" It definitely seems like everybody good got married by the time they turned 24. Most of the friends I've had are female, and they don't treat me that way. But, my remaining friends all live in other states or countries. My last girlfriend did help me move out of my mom's house (Mom married an abusive man and still clings to him...) but ever since we broke up, it seems like I've been cursed, and the older I get, the lonelier I've been getting. It's not so much that I want to force a relationship to happen, but it seems to be the only way to not be lonely at my age. I don't know what to do anymore. I go out plenty, but I feel like an island in a sea of couples. One thing that's helped me feel a bit more at ease is getting shirts with my favorite female characters on them and wearing them in public, because I just want to put out there that I'm not a normal guy. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I work in a factory and have nothing in common with my coworkers. It also doesn't help that the people I get along best with are extremely introverted nerds... and people mistake me for that all the time. I want to be more social than I can be.
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Hi there…
Newbie Hub / by imaginativeKiwi877
Last post
 November 5th, 2021
...See more Hi there. I joined because I feel very lost in life. I’m 35M, been single for over a decade, and live alone. I just made a career change that’s going pretty well this year, and I feel like I’ve got a good handle on my finances, but I feel like I should not be so lonely at my age. I feel lost because I’m straight but not into “guy stuff” like sports, cars, fishing, etc. and people (especially women I’m trying to date) are constantly weirded out by that. I grew up being bullied for being “gay” as a result. I don’t have a whole lot of friends, and the few I do have are always busy with their partners and children. I do go out and do stuff by myself, but it’s getting cold in my region and what little fun was allowed due to covid is ending, so the seasonal blues hit harder than usual this year. Usually what happens when I do date is “Aww you’re so sweet and my ex is an a-hole!” followed by her running back to the ex-boyfriend while complaining to me about it. I have a couple of dear female friends, so I don’t like the term “friendzoned,” because that’s not a real friendship, but I feel like I’ll never be good enough to be the boyfriend, which makes me question myself a lot. Figured I’d try this because I was hoping to not feel so alone or “out there” I guess.
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