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ivoryBunny592
153 M Embraced 1
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceJanuary 17, 2021
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Having a partner with Autism
Relationship Stress / by ivoryBunny592
Last post
 March 4th, 2021
...See more My partner has Autism. He’s very functioning and smart his problems lie more with keeping eye contact and some social cues. We’ve been together for 7 years now, 1.5 years in college and the last 5.5 two states away while I finish my degree (he put college on the side but has an AA degree at least) He adores me to death, everyone in our lives can see it but as we get closer to being able to move in together, I’ll be done college Spring 2022, I find my self worrying more and more on if we’ll be compatible. He mainly plays video games when he’s not working with his job coach to find more substantial work then retail and over the years he’s talked less and less to friends online let alone in person (covid has been the reason for the last year so I’m fine with that) but even when talking to me I always have to start the conversation or make the call. Over the years it’s always been me to set up the dates and find things for us to do, rarely him. I wouldn’t call my self a social butter fly but I love to talk with people and just be around them but he doesn’t, he barely talks with his own family! We’ve spent the last year without any contact because of immune compromised family member and not wanting to risk it over state lines and in that time I just worry more and more that maybe I can’t handle his autism and thus the problems that come with it, I want to so badly because I love him to death and yet I still worry things won’t work out. Any tips from someone who’s been in a similar relationship?
How to learn to heal?
Trauma Support / by ivoryBunny592
Last post
 January 18th, 2021
...See more I haven’t told this story to many, my own parents till this day still don’t know. I have a history of getting my self involved with the wrong people, the big two was a guy I had trusted greatly use me for child pornography as well as instilling a need to please men what ever way I could to feel loved and then later in life a guy used said need to his advantage for sexual favors and manipulation. The pictures were also used at a later date in an investigation and so till this day I still have the know that a group of grown men have seen those images and they are probably still sitting around in some file. This leading to a fear of sending nudes to even my boyfriend. This is all very much the surface of my problems and I’m now in a healthy long distance relationship who has given me the freedom to go with other men to satisfy my impulses when the need calls. I always end up going home feeling dirty and like I did something wrong and yet I always go back for more, I can’t seem to get over my need to please to be able to feel loved and accepted. So how does one learn to heal or cope? I hope I make sense in all of this...I feel like I’m rambling.....
I feel so alone and scared
Relationship Stress / by ivoryBunny592
Last post
 January 18th, 2021
...See more I’m not sure if writhing this down will help me feel better but I’m running out of options that aren’t just smile and get over it. I’ve been in an LDR for 7 years now, well the first year and a half we lived together unofficially in college (most nights I stayed in his dorm and slept on a cot) but that’s beside the point, I haven’t seen him since March because of Covid and it’s been the hardest year of my life! I know others have it far worse then me but I can’t help how I feel and how I feel is depressed, alone, and scared. Each time we’ve tried to meet up during all this life told us no, we got called back to work then his family came down with covid, and the latest one has been the one hardest one. He’s prone to kidney stones and this time around they were so bad they sent him to the ER twice in one week, he’s pasted the stone since then but it left damages to his kidney and he’s been on morphine regularly just to deal with the pain. I can’t physically be there for him and the med keep him so tired we can barely talk with each other and when he’s not on the meds he’s angry and refuses to talk to me for fear of saying things he’ll regret. I’m not sure what writhing this all down will do, crying atm while typing this, but I guess it’s nice to just get it out, no one at home really listens anymore or they just tell me to put my chin up and smile because it could be worse. Anyway, thanks for reading this if you did, I hope all is well with you and your families.
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