How to learn to heal?
I haven’t told this story to many, my own parents till this day still don’t know. I have a history of getting my self involved with the wrong people, the big two was a guy I had trusted greatly use me for child pornography as well as instilling a need to please men what ever way I could to feel loved and then later in life a guy used said need to his advantage for sexual favors and manipulation. The pictures were also used at a later date in an investigation and so till this day I still have the know that a group of grown men have seen those images and they are probably still sitting around in some file. This leading to a fear of sending nudes to even my boyfriend. This is all very much the surface of my problems and I’m now in a healthy long distance relationship who has given me the freedom to go with other men to satisfy my impulses when the need calls. I always end up going home feeling dirty and like I did something wrong and yet I always go back for more, I can’t seem to get over my need to please to be able to feel loved and accepted. So how does one learn to heal or cope? I hope I make sense in all of this...I feel like I’m rambling.....
please remember that this isn't your fault,, you are loved and accepted!! don't let those bad people in your life define u as a person. it's okay to try and be vulnerable with your s/o but instead of going to other men for your needs, try to do an activity related to self love ex. exercising, skincare, shopping. loving yourself and healing is very important and it is okay to cut out people who make u feel unworthy. try to focus on yourself instead of feeling the need to seek out other people,, it could be really damaging to both u and your boyfriend. the feelings u have are obviously caused by trauma and try to heal your inner child,, maybe with journaling and answering prompts about yourself. i really hope u find the self love and acceptance,, good luck <333