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jcbisme
1 6,160 M Moving Along 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts132 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceJune 10, 2021
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Lost a friend
Relationship Stress / by jcbisme
Last post
 March 15th, 2022
...See more So everything I was so afraid of happening the entire time I known this person has happened. I knew this friend for over a year, this friend I had met, we met off bff app where you can make new friends back in 2020. I think it was exciting to meet this new person and the person wanted to know more about me and my life and seemed to want me apart of his life. He introduced me to many of his friends and we had some good times together. At one point when there were gaps of not communicating he said to me: he wanted a better relationship with me and I would have like to been best friends with him. I also even looked up to him saw him as an older bro. He sometimes was very curious about my life and wanted me to invite him to meet people I knew in my life outside his circle. However I felt we had few things in common and we were really different and have different lives and different stages in our lives too. I always didn’t invite him to some stuff cause I felt he wouldn't click with some people but I think he wanted to meet more women through me which may have been why he became friends with me. I think in 2021 something had changed in him and there definitely was issues going on with him since he’s always struggled with being single and not having a solid gf. Also in 2021 I took things personal from him when there were times I felt excluded from him, felt ignored and there were times I felt he was passive aggressive and sometimes he came off cold and his personality was different than most friends I’m used to being around. During 2021 I had confronted him about our friendship and why I was excluded and then few months later made him upset for being dramatic and told him he was flaky and also at the way I behaved at an outing he invited me too and got in a long text conversation that was like an argument and he even said how my vibe was cringe. We talked both those out since I believe he forgave me for those and tried to be understanding with me. I even shared very personal things to him few things I never really told anyone. There were times he showed that he cared and was being a good friend, but sometimes I had hoped for more expectations from him to be close friends but felt disappointed at times. One time he asked me in person why I didn’t invite him to my birthday which I didn’t realize he wanted to celebrate considering how he is. I think there was always a lot going on with him and many things he didn’t want to tell me. What completely made him unfriend me, unfollow me and I think block me on social media was I texted him about his personal life which I regret trying to reach out to him about but I was trying to show my concern. I ran into one of his friends and I hung out with one of his close friends recently whose his coworker and this close friend of his is someone I’ve ended up becoming more closer to, I felt my expectations and close friendship I wanted shifted to his friend than the first friend since his friend has invited me to his house, I know his girlfriend and met his whole family but with first friend didn’t have those kind of experiences happen and I had more in common with his friend and his friend had a personality I enjoyed being around more and his friend was always more welcoming. At one point during the end of 2021 I was going to focus with his friend than him until first friend texted me “happy new year (my name)” which came to a surprise to me and I appreciated that. So I guess he still wanted to continue to have me in his life until just recently… So I heard from one of his friends I ran into another night and his close friend/coworker about a girl he was supposedly dating, they both seen the girl he was supposedly with and how attractive she was. I didn’t see first friend in person since September and there were times I tried to invite him to things and suggest things for us to do but he usually already had plans or didn’t really follow back on my ideas. When I was hanging out with his close friend/coworker recently I wanted first friend to be with us but I didn’t invite him and hoped our friend would and that he would come through him but he told him he was too tired to come, I wonder would he have came if I actually invited him. So when I was with our friend he told me a lot of details about a girl he was dating. So I reached out to him by text to show that I cared but I didn’t approach it the right way I feel and he pretty much denied what I was told by his friend. I looked nosy and I said I was sorry for being intrusive and said I wanted to hear it from him was the last thing I sent and what was read. I think he took offense to it and took it personal since it was about his dating life which I believe was very private to him and I guess he didn’t want me to know all that. The next day I noticed he unfollowed me and blocked me and unfriended. I was shocked, he finally decided to cut me out and doesn’t want to hear from me. He was pretty important to me but sometimes I think I had little resentment to him cause of the way he is and his personality. I probably shouldn’t have done this but I sent him a message on Facebook apologizing and also some long texts to him saying I regret what I said and saying I was wrong only because I wanted him to hear me out and have my final say. He probably won’t read them or maybe didn’t get the message since he probably blocked me. Now I feel devastated and feel more guilt tripped than ever that I ruined a friendship and kind of crossed the line but maybe it’s for the best and I deserve a true friend that appreciates me since I always felt there were times he didn’t appreciate me that much like his friend does. I might still hang out with his friend since I’ve ended up close to him but if I end up coming across first friend it would definitely be awkward and hope he won’t be bitter since it seems he holds some resentment now and clearly doesn’t like me anymore and wonder if he’ll say anything to me in person or if I should say something if we end up seeing each other somehow. It feels so hard to lose someone you thought could have been good friends with for a long time and hope I’ll be able to get over it soon but it feels hard to get over. A part of me wanted to reach out again through a different method or if one of his friends could deliver a message but I guess it’s not worth it…
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Always feeling excluded and left out
Relationship Stress / by jcbisme
Last post
 January 5th, 2022
...See more I think Im bad at being a friend sometimes… maybe I have lots of social anxiety or it’s cause I always keep to myself and im too quiet private about myself that makes friends less interested in me?…and why I end up getting left out in many friend circles over the years and having many casual friends and acquaintances and no close friends. So it seems I got this realization cause I met a friend last year, we actually met off a friendship app where users chat and meet to become friends. So we started hanging out last year and I was skeptical with his intentions of wanting to be friends with me mostly because he already has many of his own close friends… so what do I have to offer? And we’re also different in many ways. So last year after few months know each other he would sometimes randomly text me many times “you alive” that he seemed to want to maintain our friendship and one night we were hanging out with his friends he said to me “he wants us to have a better relationship” which really hit me cause I wanted the same that we could be best friends since I never really had a best friend in my life. I also even looked up to him as well. Fast forward a year later he doesn’t ever text me anymore, I never hear from him since he rarely makes posts on social media, and he doesn’t even like my posts on social media anymore too which he used to do. Sometimes I think he might be going through stuff or he’s changed in some way. I have sometimes initiated texts to try to keep in contact but it’s usually not much of a long convo or it’s just very quick small talk. I text him suggesting on things we could do and hanging out but he doesn’t sound very interested since responses are short and vague. Makes me feel irrelevant to him no longer worthy to him in comparison to his other friends since it seems he’d prefer hanging out with people who’re better than me I feel. He just recently posted a photo of him and his friends (who I’ve met through him and have hung out with) all hanging out without me… which makes me feel so left out and I hate that feeling of always feeling left out. I sometimes think he wants nothing to do with me anymore and sucks cause last year he wanted to know more about me and used to invite me to hang out and now doesnt anymore and when I text to see if he wants do something it comes off like he doesn’t really want to and really put much effort in doing so. Although we’re still friends on Facebook and I’ve also hanged out with one of his close friends/coworker consistently in last month, I haven’t seen him or really talked to him that much which makes me wonder if we’re not really friends and I should try to move on and not be so depressed about it or if it’s all in my head again…
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Want a closer friendship
Relationship Stress / by jcbisme
Last post
 November 30th, 2021
...See more A year ago I met a friend and got to know him for two months, then one time exactly a year ago when we were hanging out he said to me: “I want us to have a better relationship” but fast forward a year later it seems we didn’t become close friends as I hope we could have been?… I get we’re busy and have our own lives but I think it feels hard to want to reach out and get this feeling of getting shut out or blown off. He also has many of his own close friends so I wonder why he wanted to be my friend in the first place when he already has some close friends in his life. We had two arguments this year that was about the status of our friendship and how I felt I was treated less important than his friends which I think made things awkward even though we talked it out, we’re still friends now just not close friends. I pretty much wish we could hang out more though he says he’s busy he seems to always make time to hang out with his other friends all the time, one of them in particular who I don’t like due to his bad traits. However I’ve been hanging out with one of his close friends/coworker a lot lately that it seems I might be getting closer to his friend than him which feels disappointing.
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