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jonjohn24
2,805 M Hopeful Heart 6
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts157 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2023 Member sinceDecember 19, 2021
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I will never love again..
Relationship Stress / by jonjohn24
Last post
 August 3rd, 2022
...See more Love hurts.. it’s honestly the worst and best feeling ever it’s ironic but it hurts so much. I fell in love with her and it was the best 3 years of my life. But we broke up 2 weeks before Christmas in 2021. And she jumped into a new relationship right after us. I felt so hurt and betrayed like I didn’t matter or what we had didn’t matter and it was nothing. Coming into the new year I was so broken, lost, I honestly don’t wanted to give up because everyday was a struggle fight just to survive the day and having to wake up and do it all over. After while I thought I was doing better but Mid February she reached out and some how we ended up talking everyday after that. At first she was just asking how I was doing but then it developed to be more than just that. After I tried so hard to close the doors of hope for us she comes in opening them wide open as she told me she never stopped loving me and that she was still in loved with me. She told me that I was the most perfect person ever and that there is no one else like me and that she didn’t know why she broke up with me it was a mistake. And obviously me being the heart broken one I told her the same and how I never stopped thinking about her and how I was still so in love with her. It’s so dumb of me how I freaking stayed because now I’ve gotten to attach like I was before when I was with her. It’s so hard to wait around for something you know might never happen. But it’s even harder to give up when it’s everything you ever wanted… you know.. and just last week she told me yet again how it’s never been the same with out me. And how I made her the happiest and I make her a better person and I’m always running through her mind.. but yet 3 days ago she started being distant with me and telling me how she doesn’t want to talk to me all the time and I’m just here sitting confused like wtf.. because how do you go from saying alll that poring your heart out to me to now this. And it’s not fair… I’m a good person I haven’t done anything wrong. She told me how I was perfect and all this and that so like why does this happen to me then. Hurt is not even the word rn. Cause I’m back at square 1 where I promise I never wanted to be again but for trusting in her. I’m struggling again wishing I never woke up. I had so much patients and feelings for her I even waited and waited for her for months.. yet I just feel like I’ve been played and everything she told me just had me second guessing it all.. I got my heart broke not once but twice again… and it hurts so so much. I come to a park every night crying my eyes out because I’m just barely hanging in there. Love.. it’s ironic.
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The year 2021 broke me..
Relationship Stress / by jonjohn24
Last post
 December 28th, 2021
...See more I feel like I’ve lost so many people this year.. I’ve had a close family friend pass away then later on the year my great grandmother passed away from a heart attack literally a week later my grandpa passed away at the hospital. After I thought it couldn’t get any worse the person I didn’t want to leave me the most my girlfriend of 3years broke up with me just last Monday so close to Christmas too but not only that Me and her family has made a connection to the point where they would tell me they love me and I’d say love you too like they were my actual parents and breaking up with her feels like I’ve lost her family as well. So I feel so empty and and I’m just not myself mentally and physically and that I’ve hit the lowest point in my life. Each and every day it gets harder and harder. But I’ve been trying I really am. It’s just a fight to survive and I’m barely just barely hanging in there. I don’t understand how she says she love me still and cares about me but why… why still break up. How can you go through 3 years of talking to someone every day of every second staying up late at night. To just not wanting to talk anymore. I’ve never fought this hard for anyone and I’ve never loved anyone like how I loved her. I truly understand what it feels like to have my heart shattered in a million pieces. I’m just trying not to fall off the deep end and I’m picking up what’s left of my heart for any hope that’s there..
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