The year 2021 broke me..

I feel like I’ve lost so many people this year.. I’ve had a close family friend pass away then later on the year my great grandmother passed away from a heart attack literally a week later my grandpa passed away at the hospital. After I thought it couldn’t get any worse the person I didn’t want to leave me the most my girlfriend of 3years broke up with me just last Monday so close to Christmas too but not only that Me and her family has made a connection to the point where they would tell me they love me and I’d say love you too like they were my actual parents and breaking up with her feels like I’ve lost her family as well. So I feel so empty and and I’m just not myself mentally and physically and that I’ve hit the lowest point in my life. Each and every day it gets harder and harder. But I’ve been trying I really am. It’s just a fight to survive and I’m barely just barely hanging in there. I don’t understand how she says she love me still and cares about me but why… why still break up. How can you go through 3 years of talking to someone every day of every second staying up late at night. To just not wanting to talk anymore. I’ve never fought this hard for anyone and I’ve never loved anyone like how I loved her. I truly understand what it feels like to have my heart shattered in a million pieces. I’m just trying not to fall off the deep end and I’m picking up what’s left of my heart for any hope that’s there..