I will never love again..
Love hurts.. it’s honestly the worst and best feeling ever it’s ironic but it hurts so much. I fell in love with her and it was the best 3 years of my life. But we broke up 2 weeks before Christmas in 2021. And she jumped into a new relationship right after us. I felt so hurt and betrayed like I didn’t matter or what we had didn’t matter and it was nothing. Coming into the new year I was so broken, lost, I honestly don’t wanted to give up because everyday was a struggle fight just to survive the day and having to wake up and do it all over. After while I thought I was doing better but Mid February she reached out and some how we ended up talking everyday after that. At first she was just asking how I was doing but then it developed to be more than just that. After I tried so hard to close the doors of hope for us she comes in opening them wide open as she told me she never stopped loving me and that she was still in loved with me. She told me that I was the most perfect person ever and that there is no one else like me and that she didn’t know why she broke up with me it was a mistake. And obviously me being the heart broken one I told her the same and how I never stopped thinking about her and how I was still so in love with her. It’s so dumb of me how I freaking stayed because now I’ve gotten to attach like I was before when I was with her. It’s so hard to wait around for something you know might never happen. But it’s even harder to give up when it’s everything you ever wanted… you know.. and just last week she told me yet again how it’s never been the same with out me. And how I made her the happiest and I make her a better person and I’m always running through her mind.. but yet 3 days ago she started being distant with me and telling me how she doesn’t want to talk to me all the time and I’m just here sitting confused like wtf.. because how do you go from saying alll that poring your heart out to me to now this. And it’s not fair… I’m a good person I haven’t done anything wrong. She told me how I was perfect and all this and that so like why does this happen to me then. Hurt is not even the word rn. Cause I’m back at square 1 where I promise I never wanted to be again but for trusting in her. I’m struggling again wishing I never woke up. I had so much patients and feelings for her I even waited and waited for her for months.. yet I just feel like I’ve been played and everything she told me just had me second guessing it all.. I got my heart broke not once but twice again… and it hurts so so much. I come to a park every night crying my eyes out because I’m just barely hanging in there. Love.. it’s ironic.
@jonjohn24
I am sorry to hear of the hurt you're going through.
Is there a reason she avoids holding on to a relationship that you both know you want? It sounds like everything goes well and then she suddenly retreats. Is there a possibility she's hoping for something to happen that hasn't? Or is it that she's afraid of the next steps? I know you've both agreed she made a mistake last time in breaking up, but have you discussed it to explore the reasons why she felt compelled to do it? Or is it that you're a comfort zone for her that she seeks as a backup plan?
I hope you are able to find the answers you need. Yes, you are right, it is not fair. You do not deserve this hurt and the emotional games are cruel.
Much peace and love to you <3
I honestly have no idea.. I’ve tried talking to her about it asking her “why are you being so distant, I’m literally watching you push me away” and all she ever says is I just don’t think we should talk all the time and be and sleep on FaceTime. And I’m just here like what.. that doesn’t really tell me much I just don’t understand because how can you go from saying I’m so in love with you, I miss you so much, I can’t wait to hangout and being all lovely dovey to literally less than a week after she tells me that to now being distant with me. I even asked her like what is the reason but whenever I bring it up she gets mad and says “I don’t understand why I have to repeat myself over and over that we should talk as much”… like that doesn’t explain anything at alll!! Like she made me feel like I was so important and special to her but now I’m just like I never mattered. And I feel like I’ve wasted 7 months where I could’ve just been healing from our 3 year break up but instead I’ve been played with the whole time. And it hurts so much
@jonjohn24
You are right, it does seem like she didn't care about your emotions when she came back to you, only to end it again abruptly. Perhaps at this point, her reasons aren't even that important. What is important is that you're hurting for no fault or no reason.
Coming from someone who went back and forth with my ex… he eventually ended it because of my indecisiveness. I’m suffering but I know deep down he did the right thing. You did what I couldn’t do- end a relationship I knew wasn’t totally right. When he would make himself available to me after I ended it, it was easy to fall back into the relationship and into old patterns. It was too painful for me to stay away. We were both always willing to try again. But he had enough and made the final decision for us, all while I begged. And I know one I’ll thank him for being strong for the both of us. He freed us both from a relationship that I know would’ve kept us from true happiness. And true love is wanting that person to be happy even if it’s without you.
