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lavenderShip2944
250 M Embraced 2
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2022 Member sinceNovember 30, 2016
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Lost
Relationship Stress / by lavenderShip2944
Last post
 October 6th, 2022
...See more I'm afraid to write this. I've been keeping this in my head for so long and I'm afraid to say any of it. I'm in a relationship right, we've been together for 5 years. We've struggled alot through the whole relationship. My boyfriend is an addict, and we've struggles through his many relapses. I've been on the verge of ending it with him many times. That's not why I'm here though. I had a friend, who I felt very close with prior to my relationship. We stopped talking once my relationship began. Over the last year, they keep coming up in my mind. Over and over again, sometime more or less. But a few days ago, I had dream that we got married. We were never in a relationship, but there was always a question in my mind. I don't want to cheat, I abhor cheating. I'm just so lost. I don't know if these thoughts are from the lack of overall intimacy now or what it is. I'm just lost, and I wish I had some sort of resolve. I thought it was a guilt from the loss of contact, so I've apologized to him. But I it still hasn't stopped. I don't know if anyone has better insight on this.
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Last night..
Trauma Support / by lavenderShip2944
Last post
 August 25th, 2019
...See more Last night I went to a my friend bachelorette party and we had hired a stripper. I got it for her because that's what she asked for although I wanted nothing to do with it. I understand it's just to be for fun but it made me really uncomfortable and I dont know what to do.. He grabbed me in places I didnt want to be touched.. he grabbed my chest and tried to touch me down there. I pushed him away. He grabbed my hand and put it on his junk and I pulled away. I'm getting anxiety talking about it now, because its reminding me of when I was assaulted before. On top of that he told me he wanted rape my a**. I feel disgusting and ashamed, I wish my hands were gone because I can't scrub them clean. It's making me sick. I'm afraid of losing my boyfriend too if I tell him.. or that hell get pissed and try to fight this person. I dont know what to do..
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