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lavenderlullaby4
1 362 M Embraced 3
PathStep 16 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceSeptember 2, 2023
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Social anxiety and guilt
Anxiety Support / by lavenderlullaby4
Last post
 January 20th
...See more How do you deal with the guilt of your behaviour because of social anxiety? Example: on bad days, when i cant avoid doing certain things in my usual routine, I keep my head down and its like I almost act like im invisible to everyone and everything. For example, leaving the house and getting in my car or walking down a corridor in work. I'll then realise that I've ignored a neighbour or a colleague. Im particularly worried about it now because a neighbour has since ignored me but said hello to another neighbour. I understand why they may have done this but I feel so much guilt about it. I have so much fear of coming across as rude to others but its like a weird defence mechanism or unhealthy habit i have and its making things worse.
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How do you keep yourself on the right track?
Motivation & Accountability / by lavenderlullaby4
Last post
 September 16th, 2025
...See more I keep trying to remind myself that I can't control anyone else's behaviours and actions but my own. But still I find myself falling into that downward spiral of feeling resentful and bitterness towards those I feel could be more helpful and useful in difficult family circumstances. How do you keep yourself from feeling this way? I need a new perspective and mindset for this situation.
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How much do you expect from your friends in terms of emotional support?
Friendship Support / by lavenderlullaby4
Last post
 February 26th, 2024
...See more Hi everyone, hope you're all doing well :) This is my first post here, I apologise for the length of it. Any advice to the following would be greatly appreciated. How do you handle being the supportive friend but not getting it back much in return? How much do you expect from your friends in terms of emotional support? Context: For years my role in my friendship group has seemed to be the 'counsellor'. I'm the one they go to when things go wrong and they need advice. They've always said how good I am at giving advice and listening, and I've always prided myself on that because I feel like I'm doing some good. But now I'm going through a tough time that is ongoing (my mom fell ill suddenly last summer. She's thankfully ok but still in hospital and sadly her recovery is taking longer than expected. I've taken on everything at home and in the family and it's been full on. Life has changed dramatically and i dont know if it will ever be the same again). My friends will ask how I'm doing etc but the conversation moves on quickly. I'm not ready to stop talking about it but it feels like they just ask how are you to check the box to say they've asked. Then they all talk about their problems in person and in our whatsapp group and there's big deep conversations about it back and forth conversation, but when it comes to mine, it seems like they don't want to linger on it much, so completely change the subject or just plain ignore it over text. They're mostly in happier times, wedding planning and once in a lifetime holidays, and I love hearing about that. It gives me a distraction and a reminder that not everything in life is bad. I don't want to fall out with them but it hurts cos it's starting to cause resentment within me that they don't seem to want to hear too much about my life, like the negative will rub off on them or something. It makes me not want to share anything cos I feel like im being too intense or overbearing even though ive barely said anything. They're the only ones I share this stuff with because usually I would talk with my mum in more depth but I can't at the minute and I feel like I need to be strong for everyone else. I just know that God forbid if they go through anything like this in the future, I'll be there for them and the others will too and it just makes me wonder why they don't seem to offer the same support to me. I understand that everyone has their own stuff going on but I just don't want any more negative feelings. It just makes me feel more down and lack confidence within myself. I don't look forward to meeting/speaking with them anymore cos I feel like I have to put on a front, paint a smile on my face and keep most of it in and I feel like I'm constantly doing that at home/family/work already. Thank you in advance.
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