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leSbeaninCrisis
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PathStep 4 Compassion hearts43 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2025 Member sinceJune 20, 2021
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Advice
Trauma Support / by leSbeaninCrisis
Last post
 April 10th, 2025
...See more Hey everyone, I don’t know if this is the right place for it but here I go. I’m paranoid of this getting back to her, but I’m waiting on my appointment with the VA to get my therapist covered under insurance again so this is the best I’ve got. So. My mom and I have a really complex relationship. She has caused me a lot of trauma, which has led to extreme PTSD issues. I’m working on it lol. But a few years ago my dad committed unalive and my mom and little sister are disabled. I moved back home to take care of them. I have been doing so for about over 3 years now. My relationship with my mother has gotten better, but there are still times where I feel so much rage towards her. She doesn’t ask for my help, she demands it. And when I don’t cave, she gets so passive aggressive. There are days where I feel awful, like I do right now, as I myself have recently been rated 100% disabled by the VA. Those days, I’m literally doing everything in my power just to stay upright. Today is one of those days. But every time, I leap to go help and I don’t know why I do that. I feel immense guilt for saying no, especially since I know how much pain she is in but sometimes I just CANT. It’s frustrating, considering she doesn’t not do the same for me. There has been big events I’ve missed, planned dates with my husband I’ve had to cancel, long stays in the hospital with her that have put my career at risk over and over. But when I got really sick and needed surgery, she and my sister went on a vacation to NC. Didn’t visit me until a week after they got back either. My best friend and husband were there taking care of me, luckily, but that broke my heart.
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A general introduction
Eating Disorder Support / by leSbeaninCrisis
Last post
 July 9th, 2021
...See more Hi, So for years I had an identified eating disorder that I really struggled to overcome and I thought I had. My home life wasn’t fantastic and honestly my perception of reality Bc of how much they manipulated me is skewed. To be honest, I’m still dealing with the after effects. They never admitted they contributed to the problem or that I really had one. Every time I hear that little voice in my head telling me to stop eating or that anxiety I physically tell it to bleep off every meal. That being said, lately I’ve been less.. strict with myself. I started vaping and nicotine lessens my appetite. I don’t eat maybe more than once a day and I chew gum/drink water constantly. I noticed I’m starting to fall back into bad habits. I don’t know if this is a relapse or what’s going on, but I could really use some guidance here. Thank you, that’s all.
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