A general introduction

Hi, So for years I had an identified eating disorder that I really struggled to overcome and I thought I had. My home life wasn’t fantastic and honestly my perception of reality Bc of how much they manipulated me is skewed. To be honest, I’m still dealing with the after effects. They never admitted they contributed to the problem or that I really had one. Every time I hear that little voice in my head telling me to stop eating or that anxiety I physically tell it to bleep off every meal. That being said, lately I’ve been less.. strict with myself. I started vaping and nicotine lessens my appetite. I don’t eat maybe more than once a day and I chew gum/drink water constantly. I noticed I’m starting to fall back into bad habits. I don’t know if this is a relapse or what’s going on, but I could really use some guidance here. Thank you, that’s all.