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littleZebra6403
243 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceOctober 30, 2021
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Walked in on them kissing
Trauma Support / by littleZebra6403
Last post
 August 3rd, 2022
...See more I walked in on my husband kissing another women. Apparently it’s happened twice. Both with me simply in another room. i know he was sucked in by her because he was stressed and abused throughout life and from childhood. So that was the coping he learned. I get he didn’t want to burden me with his problems but they are my problems he’s my husband. He came clean on it. The other women wouldn’t till I proved I had seen them. Then her story kept changing. The trust has been broken. My heart shattered. And his too. He followed me not her when it happened and I busted them. But I still have invading thoughts. I told her I forgave her and him but I still am not really patient with the process of rebuilding. It sucks!! I keep getting flash backs. I keep having dreams that he’s cheating with her or someone else that they are having sex, even though they didn’t and he’s not. But I also keep having thoughts that I’m not good enough that I’ll never measure up that I’m not attractive to him. [edited by @nonethewiser for graphic descriptions] I swing from feeling pitty for her to down right hating her!! I swing from being over the moon about my husband to wanting to run from him and shout it from the roof tops how much he’s hurt me. But I know he was cheated on for years and he learned to do the same as a coping mechanism. I want to believe and do believe that he can relearn a healthy coping skill instead, but I still fear it will happen again and that I’ll video it post it [edited by @nonethewiser for graphic descriptions]. I mean the rage hit when I saw them and left before I could even move. I felt bad for spanking him and walking away. i feel smothered with paranoia. I can’t get myself to be away from him other than for work and I come home to check on him. Call him and he stops by to check in with me. But I feel like an idiot doing any therapy or exercise in front of him, and like I’m gonna make him feel worse and set him back in his progress, I don’t know what else to do anymore.
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Husbands female friend issues
Relationship Stress / by littleZebra6403
Last post
 October 31st, 2021
...See more I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’ve destroyed my marriage. My husband and I love each other immensely and I might say unconditionally, but he has this friend he’s known forever, and they have never dated, but always wondered what life would have been like had they dated and they both still seem attracted to each other physically, and are attracted personality wise. I feel like she’s inappropriate with him, comes over when I’m gone so she can chat or cry in his arms or whatever. She’s been a good friend and he can’t be happy without his friends, but I mean they are both married I don’t feel it’s appropriate to be alone together or touchy feely as support or joking and her grabbing his shoulder or arm. Heck she couldn’t even leave him alone on our wedding night, just texting And texting and I think she even called. Am I crazy?? Over reacting? I flipped out when I came home to find him gome with her and no mention of her going with our word that he’s even gone as he told me he would let me know, last week, then again when I came home for lunch to find him gone and not to come see me at work like he said he would and instead of him walking through the door to greet me, he looking for him to show off her Halloween costume which she’d already sent pictures of that morning. 4 of them. So I totally trust him, but not her. But he thinks I don’t trust him I don’t want to go places with him I don’t want him to have his friends. Talk at this point only makes him mad. And all I do is feel like a worthless piece of crap for being it up again and for crying uncontrollably and making him feel so bad and miserable and negatively towards me and us.
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