Walked in on them kissing
I walked in on my husband kissing another women. Apparently it’s happened twice. Both with me simply in another room.
i know he was sucked in by her because he was stressed and abused throughout life and from childhood. So that was the coping he learned. I get he didn’t want to burden me with his problems but they are my problems he’s my husband. He came clean on it. The other women wouldn’t till I proved I had seen them. Then her story kept changing.
The trust has been broken. My heart shattered. And his too. He followed me not her when it happened and I busted them. But I still have invading thoughts. I told her I forgave her and him but I still am not really patient with the process of rebuilding.
It sucks!! I keep getting flash backs. I keep having dreams that he’s cheating with her or someone else that they are having sex, even though they didn’t and he’s not. But I also keep having thoughts that I’m not good enough that I’ll never measure up that I’m not attractive to him. [edited by @nonethewiser for graphic descriptions] I swing from feeling pitty for her to down right hating her!! I swing from being over the moon about my husband to wanting to run from him and shout it from the roof tops how much he’s hurt me. But I know he was cheated on for years and he learned to do the same as a coping mechanism. I want to believe and do believe that he can relearn a healthy coping skill instead, but I still fear it will happen again and that I’ll video it post it [edited by @nonethewiser for graphic descriptions]. I mean the rage hit when I saw them and left before I could even move. I felt bad for spanking him and walking away.
i feel smothered with paranoia. I can’t get myself to be away from him other than for work and I come home to check on him. Call him and he stops by to check in with me. But I feel like an idiot doing any therapy or exercise in front of him, and like I’m gonna make him feel worse and set him back in his progress, I don’t know what else to do anymore.
@nonethewiser I’ve been introduced to some of them, but they don’t seem to have any interest in being friends with me, just with my husband. I feel sick. I got on Facebook to see that this other woman is making comments on my daughter in laws posts, which I’m pretty sure she wasn’t friends with before I kicked her to the curb. If they were friends, the other woman didn’t make comments. So the way I see it she is still just trying to be a pain in the Butt and keep tabs on our family, especially my husband and wiggle her way back into our lives. Am I in the right to send her and or her husband a private message telling her to leave my family alone, (don’t call, text, be looking at their Facebook or other social media, don’t be stopping by)?? I mean I told her to get lost, and according to our religion she is to have nothing to do with my husband and that means the rest of us too.
But haven’t been in contact I mean maybe they were “friends” on Facebook sometime in the last year or two no longer. And very casual friends. Do you think I’m ok to tell this lady to leave my family alone?
I’m really sorry you have to deal with your husbands exes, but glad to hear he is on your side. That’s how my husbands exes are, every last one. Can’t let go and move in gotta stir the pot.
