Husbands female friend issues
I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’ve destroyed my marriage. My husband and I love each other immensely and I might say unconditionally, but he has this friend he’s known forever, and they have never dated, but always wondered what life would have been like had they dated and they both still seem attracted to each other physically, and are attracted personality wise. I feel like she’s inappropriate with him, comes over when I’m gone so she can chat or cry in his arms or whatever. She’s been a good friend and he can’t be happy without his friends, but I mean they are both married I don’t feel it’s appropriate to be alone together or touchy feely as support or joking and her grabbing his shoulder or arm. Heck she couldn’t even leave him alone on our wedding night, just texting And texting and I think she even called. Am I crazy?? Over reacting? I flipped out when I came home to find him gome with her and no mention of her going with our word that he’s even gone as he told me he would let me know, last week, then again when I came home for lunch to find him gone and not to come see me at work like he said he would and instead of him walking through the door to greet me, he looking for him to show off her Halloween costume which she’d already sent pictures of that morning. 4 of them. So I totally trust him, but not her. But he thinks I don’t trust him I don’t want to go places with him I don’t want him to have his friends. Talk at this point only makes him mad. And all I do is feel like a worthless piece of crap for being it up again and for crying uncontrollably and making him feel so bad and miserable and negatively towards me and us.
Hi,
I literally just joined like 30 minutes ago, and you're post is the first one I read in its entirety only because I totally relate. My husband also has a female "best friend" from his childhood whom he's never been in a relationship with. He also makes it a point to spend as much time with her as possible along with texting, and calling. She too is married, but the one she always has to call is my husband. If she has a problem she calls and says something and he jumps and runs to be by her side. Worst problem I have is he will go over late in the evening say he'll be home by a certain time and not come home until late morning almost afternoon. Shes flirty with him just as he's flirty with her. They both insist that they'd never do anything with each other because they say they're close like brother and sister. She's a great friend and she and I have only recently become closer friends. But I cannot deny that the same thoughts and emotional responses you're having aren't exactly what I had in the past. Best I did to overcome the situation was tell myself to stop overthinking and overanalyzing the situation. It's helped some but I'm not going to lie when he lies to me about going over to her house, or breaks his promises to spend time with her I always get upset because it makes me feel like she's more important to him than his family is.
I’m short your going through a similar situation!! How in the world did you ever become close friends with her? I know they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer, but I tried from the start to push all the thoughts and feelings aside, tried to be a friend tried to be there for her and try to go to her for things in hopes she’d open up. But she shuts me out the harder, which only fuels my resentment for her and distrust. I’m to the point that she nearly sends me into an anxiety attack when she shows up and walks in like she owns the place. One thing I’m grateful for is at least when my car is here she doesn’t come back to the bedroom looking for my husband. She’s50 and acts like a dumb teenager with no respect for boundaries and like to her they don’t exist. I have no desire to be her friend to be a friend only to keep that enemy close to know what is going on. I just want to chew her out tell her where to go and stick her with a dart on the way out so she gets the point. I’m serious!! Have you talked to your husband about her? Have you talked to her and told her how it looks and feels and if so did any of it do any good?