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loyalDrum7673
9,388 M Pacing Forward 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts536 Forum posts42 Forum upvotes61 Current upvotes61 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceDecember 12, 2017
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Feeling Trapped and Restless
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by loyalDrum7673
Last post
 February 21st, 2020
...See more I tend to ramble a lot, so I'll do my best to condense the situation; I'm 23 and gay. About a month and a half ago, I decided I was ready to join a dating app and met this really cute guy online. He was very patient and very sweet; we talked for a couple weeks before we decided to go out on a casual date. Something you should know about me is that I'm 100% a virgin; I've never dated, never kissed a boy, never been in a relationship, and so on. Considering it was my first date, I decided to be smart about it. My friends knew where I was going and who I was meeting, but I told my parents where I was going without mentioning it was a date. I let them know exactly where i'd be for this 'hangout,' a Starbucks five minutes away from my house. The date went really well, so much so that we planned on a second date a couple days later. In case we got serious, I wanted to tell my parents about the previous date and the planned date to keep them in the loop. They immediately started getting anxious, defensive, and protective. They said a lot of things; telling me what they think my priorities should be [I graduate University in ten months], said I needed permission to go out so that my plans don't conflict with 'family plans,' and said I should come out to certain cousins before I'm allowed to date freely. There was a sense that something was holding me back from the second date, so the boy and I mutually decided it wasn't going to work out and that we would try to remain friends. A week has passed since last I spoke to that boy and two weeks have passed since my conversation with the parents; at this point I feel so trapped. My parents and my feelings seem to unravel any confidence I have in my choices and I have no idea what to do.
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People think I need the last word, but I don't understand why I'm perceived that way
Relationship Stress / by loyalDrum7673
Last post
 March 28th, 2019
...See more Recently, two things occurred in my personal life that brought about this idea that I always need to have the last word or always think I'm right. A university friend I hang out with is known for his argumentative nature and academic attitude. No matter what I like or what my opinion is, he'll always take the opposing opinion and consider his knowledge 'right.' I'm gay and we argued about gay representation in the media, and the entire time I was trying to portray an opinion of representation not being explicit. He got so frustrated that he said (in a mocking tone) "you always have to be right." But this came after he ignored my opinion and called everything I show interest in "superficial" and without deeper meaning. Today, one of my friends hung out with someone that I have not talked to since high school. We used to be super close, but when we graduated he stopped talking to everyone. Now that he's started talking again, he's told people he doesn't like me anymore. Everyone is taken aback by this, and his reason is that I talk to much and always think I'm right. But I never remember actually getting into any arguments with him about anything; we were good friends and to this day I hate getting into conflict. What is happening? Am I really portraying myself as egotistical without knowing it? I am genuinely confused and would love some advice about this conflict.
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I'm feeling overwhelmed
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by loyalDrum7673
Last post
 March 20th, 2019
...See more Okay, backstory I've been out as gay with friends for a year and to immediate family for 4. The past couple weeks have been tough, but in subtle ways. One friend loves to debate with me about gay representation and is constantly ignoring my actual feelings about the issue to prove his own point, another friend says the LGBT community is problematic because it fosters difference and excludes straight people (an argument I vehemently disagree with), I'm awful with on-the-spot disagreements, my favorite sitcom with LGBT rep was cancelled, and I've recently had another heavy convorsation with my parents about lots of things we don't talk about. As always, the conversation has made it slightly easier for discussion and I've been recommending TV shows and movies that are very important to me for gay rep. But I still feel aggravated, I still feel distant at times I shouldn't, it's still hard for me to talk about feelings, I still don't know where some of these feelings are coming from cuz they come and go at random times, and I still don't know how to figure all this stuff out. I need some help.
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Out of the blue anxiety...any advice?
Anxiety Support / by loyalDrum7673
Last post
 August 15th, 2018
...See more So I don't normally post on this thread, but lately I've been feeling anxious and I can't seem to pinpoint why. I'm an overthinker so anything I come up with just doesn't seem to sit well with Me, causing me more anxiety. I feel like being in the same place for work constantly puts me on edge, while even the thought of a YouTuber I actually like can give me anxiety. I go to school for the last semester before I hopefully get into teachers college so that gives me anxiety, but I'm also gay and though I have a support system, my parents are the kind of people who think it's a phase. I don't know how to combat this feeling I get sometimes out of the blue and always when I'm alone and I don't know what to do. If anyone has any advice, it would be much appreciated!!!
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I'm an overthinker...any advice
Anxiety Support / by loyalDrum7673
Last post
 January 28th, 2019
...See more So I don't normally post here, but lately I've been feeling rather anxious and I was hoping that I could get some advice. So a little backstory as to some of the reason I think I'm feeling anxious. First and foremost I over think a lot when I'm alone, which can be very very annoying. Since April I've been working at the same place almost everyday and I have two weeks left in my contract; being in the same small area doing the same things really gets to me sometimes. Recently I found a YouTuber I really like; I feel as though I get anxiety when thinking about one of his shows, though, in which he deals with dillema's through the personification of his feelings; it's got some good lessons, but it gets u thinking about your feelings a lot. I'm going back to school for one last semester before I (hopefully) get into teachers college. I'm also gay and though I have an amazing support system through friends and my sister, my parents are the kind of people who would rather not talk about it in the hopes that it's a phase. And lastly, my friends are away the next two weeks so the people i usually talk to haven't been able to talk to me as much. I know that this is a lot of information and it probably seems easy to discern where my anxiety is coming from, but I can't seem to understand what's going on sometimes and I don't have any strategies to combat the feeling (or at least any strategies that work). If anybody has advice it would be much appreciated!
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