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loyalTurtle7886
354 M Embraced 3
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceApril 24, 2021
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What is a panic attack?
Anxiety Support / by loyalTurtle7886
Last post
 June 4th, 2021
...See more Is there a correct answer to what a panic attack is? Do I need to check a list to be “eligible” for a panic attack? I sometimes have breakdowns but not sure if they fit this definition
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Gaslit by my bestfriend
Relationship Stress / by loyalTurtle7886
Last post
 April 24th, 2021
...See more My bestfriend recently said something that hurt me a lot, and when I told her it hurt me she insisted that it wasn’t her intention and that I was overthinking. It was the overthinking comment that really got to me. She made me feel small and as though my feelings did not matter. When I tried to explain this to her, she immediately said that she is hurt because I said she hurt me. I feel this was extremely unfair because she tried to make herself the focus without acknowledging my feelings. She ended our conversation with “I don’t know how it always ends up this way.” even when I tried to tell her it’s because her comment hurt me. I feel dismissed and gaslit for my feelings. Now she doesn’t talk to me anymore. Sometimes I keep thinking that I should reach out to her because we had a good time with each other and I miss my bestfriend, but I’m still hurt so much. Perhaps if a friendship ends because of this, it isn’t a real friendship to begin with - I keep telling myself this but knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less. The pandemic has made this loss of her friendship extremely hard for me as I have few other social connections to keep me distracted. How can I move on from this? Is it still worth trying to mend this friendship? What should I do in that case? It seems as if I’ve tried explaining in every way possible that I felt hurt and she kept ignoring that & said I overreacted, she wasn’t wrong and won’t change. She even asked what I didn’t like in her communication and I asked her to stop saying I’m “overthinking.” She ignored my answer to go on to point out my flaws. I admit I have flaws too, but hearing her immediately jump to criticize me after I pointed out her flaws feels like it’s a defensive move. Is this hopeless? I value want to keep this friendship but I don’t want to feel dismissed again. I have told her that in these exact words and received the cold shoulder. If a friend is not willing to respect me, is this the end of the friendship?
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