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milkiswholesome
1 89 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceOctober 3, 2022
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i don't think i'm trustworthy
7 Cups Online Therapy / by milkiswholesome
Last post
 November 9th, 2022
...See more i don't think i'm trustworthy at all. this is because whenever i feel unhappy/sad/mad about someone, i would tell my close friends about it and it just sounds like i'm complaining. it includes stuff like personal problems (secrets?), so it feels like i'm badmouthing them. i would probably say along the lines (oh she's judgmental because of __________ that's why i don't like her), [oh she has a lot of exes (but i didn't call her a h*e)], (i just feel that they never really helped me) or (why did she do __________? i was honestly scared and i felt guilty) but never (ew he's disgusting and dirty). i used to do this to a few close friends of mine and got away from it most of the time. i'm not sure if this is considered talking behind one's back but it's more like i'm venting/complaining. but they also talked behind my back before (including hurting me), but this is still my fault (since they don't talk about it after the friendship ended). yesterday, my ex suddenly messaged my ex best-friend telling her that i used to badmouth her. my ex even accused me of saying stuff i didn't say at all (during the relationship). my ex best-friend confronted me and i tried to defend myself but she didn't believe me. my ex best-friend said that she didn't tell any of my personal problems to anyone (after the friendship ended, but during she did), but back then she also broke my trust several times. but i just don't know if that is considered badmouthing or just an opinion of someone, because i don't always talk about them unless they made me feel horrible. if it's considered badmouthing, i will try to change myself for the better and stop repeating the same mistake. i just want to know if i'm doing the wrong thing or not. i kind of regret saying those stuff, but i feel more regret being friends with them and being the people pleaser in the past. i was so sad that they broke my trust and made me feel miserable.
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I feel guilty for breaking up ( vent )
35 & Over Community / by milkiswholesome
Last post
 October 4th, 2022
...See more I am a stubborn 14 year old who recently dumped my ex bf. We only dated for a week but we were good friends last time. Back in the relationship, there were red flags. He would get jealous easily whenever I talk to my female friends (he doesn't like it) and was very a clingy bf. He would want me to spend time with him and would keep checking up on me whenever I'm busy. He even showered me with compliments and gifts at the beginning of the relationship, and I was uncomfortable since he was rushing the relationship. He was also pretty flirty so I got tired of his flirts a few days after. During that time my freedom was taken away. My friends even suggested me to break up with him to avoid suffering in the long run. Some time later, I noticed that he was putting a lot of effort in the relationship so I felt bad and talked to him about it. I even apologized for not putting much effort since I couldn't trust him (he used to toy with my feelings, even lied to me a lot). I told him that I tried asking for help, but he said that I'm "leaving him in the dark". After he sent that message he left me hanging and I got so worried and pulled an all nighter. He was pissed and told me to put more fr*cking "trust" in him. Ever since that happened I started panicking whenever I text him. Plus, he was more distant after that. I asked if he was okay and he said that he is, which is a lie. I got so scared and I broke up by saying that I have fear of commitment (basically made a run for it) and he considered the relationship "on hold". A few hours later I sent him a message saying he should find another girl and stop waiting for me (I have feelings for him). And I even explained to him why I wanted to break up (I said that we're both mentally unstable). He immediately accused me of "taking revenge" of what he did in the past. A few days later, I sent him another message that said "I kind of miss you". He didn't believe the fact that I have feelings for him and still accused me of "taking revenge". Then I just told him that he's obsessive and controlling and he told me to fr*ck off, saying whatever I explained were excuses. I got mad and pointed out the stuff he did that made me unhappy and blocked him. I never wanted to hurt him, and I never wanted him to suffer. But it feels like my fault for not taking the relationship seriously, I was just testing the waters since it's only been a week. I don't know how relationships work and thank you for reading this. Please tell me if I made the right choice or not, or if I made any mistakes.
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