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mont22ha
1 138,250 M Soaring Heights 9
PathStep 105 Compassion hearts1,146 Forum posts125 Forum upvotes135 Current upvotes135 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2026 Member sinceMarch 14, 2020
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who cares


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Late night thoughts
Anxiety Support / by mont22ha
Last post
 December 1st, 2025
...See more Why do I stress myself so much? Why do I push myself to be "someone"? Even then, will I be satisfied? Will I ever feel content? Am I just wasting time, spending what feels like a lifetime of energy, resources and mind space? What if I don't live long enough to see my plans fulfilled? Is forgetting how to even have fun, losing friends and family and everything that doesn't bring an income.. worth it? The alternative doesn't seem all that better either. Then what do I do? Follow a long term happiness that I might or might not reach? Or focus on the moment, fleeting as it is, followed by possible struggle to make ends meet for the rest of my life? Does any of this matters? Does anything matters? I'm just a person among endless others. What makes what I call struggle all that special? Am I just ungrateful? Am I just thinking too much? I still feel like I HAVE to choose.. something. Do I have to choose?
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Does any of this even make sense
Depression Support / by mont22ha
Last post
 April 8th, 2025
...See more Have you ever felt so distant from your own emotions that you notice you should feel something you're not  For years now I've been ignoring the way I felt, every bad experience every bad thought . Sure it wasn't a solution but it worked .. the less attention I gave certain emotions the less intense they felt. That and the constant routine I'm in.. it's like I've put my subconscious in stasis for .. the good part of 4 years Now everything feels .. blurry. I don't get sad or happy, I don't get excited or afraid. I don't love or hate anything or anyone. Even faced by my own little brother death I felt nothing, wasn't even sure what I was feeling .. confused at best. That was a sort of "wake up call" for me For the life of me I cannot find a reason but I just .. exist .. to live through the day and hopefully the day after . Everything else lost all meaning Writing this I can't help but think .. is a life without meaning or purpose even worth existing? Can I justify my own existence by just "living to .. live another day." would I rather feel depressed or feel nothing at all? Am I just confused?
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what should i do ?
Anxiety Support / by mont22ha
Last post
 June 10th, 2020
...See more i'm just a guy.. seeking to be noticed . i never felt like i really existed my entire life, no one will probebly notice the diffrence the diffrence if i'm alive or not . i got no family, only a couple friends i made in this website . i got no live i'm just working toward the minimum a man can wish for .. survival. i'm going through pain, physically and mentally . can't stop thinking for a few minutes and its making me rly exhausted i can feel this .. cloud right in my chest, a heaviness, i'm just sweating as i'm watching it slowly suffocating me . this happens nearly everyday now and i deserve it... for a guy who keeps pushing ppl away from him i do feel lonely, i always lived alone, i never rly had real friends . i always felt like i needed ppl but no one rly needed me . i'm not saying i'm a good person to talk to or anything but i do care a lot about what ppl feel, i try to put myself in their position try to feel them, confort them . no one ever did that to me. and the problem is i expect ppl to treat me like i treat them .. feels like i'm used to disappointments by now . mby i wish i was blessed with ignorance, i wish i had a life worth living, a goal to keep me going, a friend who i can rly rely on . someone who doesnt end up leaving me bcs of my 'negativity' someone who understands but i keep finding ppl, give me a whole bunch of fake promises, tell me that life will be better but will it ? telling me they care but i dont feel it . if i dont text them they'd forget about me in a week is that what friendship is these days ? well i can't rly know . i never had it . probebly never will i just hate ppl . everyone . as much as i hate to admit it my family that threw my like a piece of trash, everyone around me . '''oh i'm not a therapist to help you''' . i NEVER wanted anyone to help i just wanted them to be here.
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think ive been seeking attention, lately
Anxiety Support / by mont22ha
Last post
 April 30th, 2020
...See more hey i'm just a loner.. a student, who has been going through depression and anxiety for years now. i've been through a lot but thats now why i'm here now well i never thought i'd say this out loud one day but .. i feel like i'm seeking attention from ppl around me like all the time . i'd even lie to get that . feels like i'm so needy, emotionally .. and thinking about it i just feel .. pethatic mostly i never needed anyone, i always enjoyed my loneliness. but now i found myself looking for friends, looking for love, pretdending? to be sick or something . just to feel .. cared for and its never enough . like i'm asking something but i'm not feeling it i'm not getting it . just saying that makes me hate myself even more i guess you guys will be like . 'everyone god their thing going on' it doesnt make me feel any better about myself as a person. i always been forgotten . it never bothered me . why now
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just another loner
Anxiety Support / by mont22ha
Last post
 April 4th, 2020
...See more i'm a male 22yo student, been living with depression and anxiety for like 5 years now i passed through diffrent phases and everytime i think i finally got over it, the smallest problems will prove me wrong ..idk sometimes i feel super confident, full of energy , happy kinda .but that usually doesnt last very long and things just shift to the opposite of that rly fast. i have a medical condition which causes me headaches most of the time . parents that will use every oppertunity to ruin my day and i wish it was just that.. they literlly ruined my life. had a bunch fake friends but they all left eventually, never loved someone that didnt cheat on me or left bcs they couldnt stand my negativity .. and atm no one even gives a crap about me . only one friend that i met in here every single goal i made is .. blocked, out of reach so i just gave up.. all i want from this life is to have a small independent life. a job so i can stop getting humiliated by my own damn parents . a small house to hide in from this society of ours lost intrest in every hobby . trying to find motivation to keep going but there's nothing there . overthinking is killing me . ruining every single thing i had left, pushing everyone left around me . i just take a small simple thought, make a big deal out of it and blame ppl for it. i keep hurting everyone around me and by the time i realize that its just too late i do push ppl away from me and prefer loneliness i do know that . but sometimes i dont, i want to be around ppl that truly cares, ppl that doesnt think that depression is just another excuse for not acting right, ppl that doesnt treat me like some kind of loser bcs of it i'm sick of being angry at everyone . sick of staying up all night thinking . sick of feeling lost in my own thoughts .. not knowing what i'm feeling or thinking . sick of crying for no clear reason . sick of asking 'why me' and 'what if' . sick of feeling forgotten, abandonned i never asked for much i just a friend . a real one . to feel cared about for once
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